We were strangers
by spillsunshine
Summary: The last thing Bella remembers is falling down the stairs at Mike Newton's house and hitting her head. That was in 2008. But when she wakes up, it's 2011, and a green-eyed man with beautiful lips is staring at her.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. **

1: we were strangers

Ow.

Owwww.

My head…It is absolute agony. I try to lift a hand to prod it but my hand feels too heavy.

There's a slight throbbing in my head that I cannot seem to shake off.

I open my eyes and almost gasp out loud as a burst of bright light threatens to blind me.

Blinking blearily, I peer around me in wonder.

The first thing that strikes me about this place is the _whiteness _of it. It's so incredibly white. And bright.

Ow, my head hurts.

My eyes are starting to hurt too.

Hmm.

Maybe I shall go back to sleep.

"Bella?" A raspy voice calls out.

I open my eyes again, the brightness consuming my vision.

"Oh Christ. Oh thank God!" The same voice is saying. "Oh Bella! You're awake!"

Wait, what?

"Wh-" I try to speak but my voice doesn't seem to come out. I peer around the brightness to find the source of the voice.

"Don't try to get up just yet. Carlisle's on his way." The voice is saying, coated with amazement and relief.

Something warm is grabbing my hand, I realize belatedly. I struggle to turn my head.

The most beautiful pair of green eyes is staring at me.

I take in the entire face of the speaker.

The most beautiful man is staring at me.

I blink in confusion. Is this a dream?

My brain has surpassed its usual creativity. I find it remarkable how it is able to conjure up such a beautiful man in my imagination now.

I take in his perfect features, the sharp slant of his nose, the perfect cheekbones, the pale skin, the most wonderful pair of full lips…

"How are you feeling?" The beautiful man parts his beautiful lips to say.

Oh God.

Have I died and gone to heaven?

Oh that must be it! That explains the whiteness, and the brightness of the room. That explains why a beautiful man is speaking to me in his angelic voice.

That explains everything.

"Bella?" The man is frowning with concern.

Oh, right.

I clear my throat and try to speak, but my mouth is too parched.

"Water…" I manage to croak.

"Oh. Of course!" The beautiful man releases my hand and rushes to pour me a glass of water.

Wait. Why was he grabbing my hand?

"Carlisle's on his way," the man is saying. "You've been asleep for a very long time, Bella. We've been worried. Do you…do you remember anything about the accident at all?"

He doesn't seem to be making any sense.

An accident?

And Carlisle? Carlisle is a resident doctor at Forks Hospital, and he's been treating my bumps and scraps ever since I was a little girl. I've always been a klutzy person. It was also because of Carlisle that I met Alice, my best friend. She was his spunky, fiery daughter who assured me that we were going to be best friends the first time we met when we were seventeen. We've been practically joined at the hip since then.

Still having a best friend who's father's a doctor did nothing to my klutzy nature.

Somehow, as I grew up, the minor bumps and scraps evolved into broken limbs and serious fractures.

In fact, I've been to the ER so many times; I practically recognize all the hospital staff now. Especially Carlisle, who's become some sort of a friend to me, having treated so many of my injuries.

Oh wait.

This is the hospital.

Which means, I'm not yet dead.

"Why am I in the hospital?" I manage to form a complete sentence now, although my voice still sounds grainy and scratchy.

The man's face jerks with surprise. "You don't remember?"

I search my memory for any inkling of whatever he's saying. Somehow I got myself into an accident again.

Oh wait. Oh yes, I remember.

It was the party at Mike's house.

We drank…what was it? Cocktails. Yes, we had some strawberry cocktails.

Bloody strawberry cocktails. What did they put in them?

Everyone was drunk. It was noisy and not much fun and I remembered Mike slobbering all over me while we were trying to dance.

I remembered wanting to go home badly. Barely halfway into the party I was trying to leave and in my half-drunken state I fell down…

I fell down a flight of stairs.

Was that it?

Oh it was horrible. I can't believe Alice convinced me to go.

Oh Alice!

"Where's Alice?" I almost shriek.

"Alice? She came by yesterday, with Jasper. She was really worried, Bella. She had to go because the kids were making a fuss."

The kids?

Is Alice babysitting again? I'm pretty sure she has sworn never to take up that job ever again.

It was last summer, after Victoria hired us to care for her 'Terror-twins', Alice and I vowed never to babysit ever again.

A giggle bubbles through my lips involuntarily as I recall with impossible clarity how Riley and James, the infamous 'Terror-twins', decided that they cat, Whiskers, needed a more attractive appearance. They spray painted poor Whiskers in a multitude of colours and put her on top of a tree to show off their masterpiece. Alice and I managed to rescue her, but she was badly traumatized after the incident. Victoria was adamant that the fault lay with me and Alice, and she docked our pay by half.

"Did you remember something?" The beautiful man breaks my thoughts. I stare warily at him. I hope he doesn't think I'm a crazy, deluded psycho.

"I think I fell down a flight of stairs…"

Wait.

I almost want to slap my head. I can't believe I missed out the most important question of all.

"Who are you?" I ask abruptly.

The man's beautiful features jolt in shock. He opens his mouth to say something.

At this moment, Carlisle comes into the room.

"Bella? Are you feeling better now?" he flashes me a kind smile.

I turn my attention to him. "Um, my head hurts. I think I hit it pretty hard when I rolled down the stairs."

"You remember what happened?" Carlisle continues asking.

"Pretty much. We were at Mike's place. I fell when I was trying to leave."

Both Carlisle and the beautiful man are staring at me, regarding me silently with serious expressions.

"Bella," the man's voice comes out in a strangled tone. "You really don't remember me?"

Carlisle frowns quietly for a moment. "Bella, can you tell me…how old you are?"

I clutch my blanket in panic. What are they going to tell me? Did I have some incurable disease? Did they discover a tumour in my head?

"Er…I'm 24?"

I'm only 24! I can't be dying!

Carlisle stares at me, a silent question in his eyes. The beautiful man regards me with a stunned expression.

"Bella," Carlisle tries to speak calmly. "You're 27."

I let out a strangled laughter. "But that's impossible! I can't be 27. That's three years older!"

"Edward, you should leave. I'll explain things later," Carlisle turns to the beautiful man.

Edward.

Who's Edward?

"Carlisle, she…" the beautiful man chokes out almost unintelligibly.

"It'll be fine." Carlisle says reassuringly. He touches Edward briefly on the shoulder and Edward nods dumbly, leaving the room.

Before he leaves, he gives me a lingering look. I stare at him, mystified.

"Who's he? Who's Edward?" I ask a million questions swimming in my head.

"I need you to listen carefully Bella. Leave the questions for later. For now, just listen."

I nod silently.

"Today's May 14, year 2011."

I look at him wordlessly.

The words sink in slowly.

"But it can't be 2011! It's 2008!" I say stupidly.

The blood drains from my face. I must have been in coma. I've slept for three years. Three whole years. People must have been praying and keeping vigil by my bedside. They probably folded origami and made videos and everything.

Tears spring to my eyes as I have a sudden vision of my parents, Charlie and Renee, sitting by my bedside and pleading with my motionless body to come out of coma.

"Was I in coma? I must have been in coma. Oh Carlisle, Charlie and Renee must have been so worried! And Alice!"

"Bella, listen," Carlisle says patiently. "You haven't been in coma. You were only in the hospital for 4 days. I think you must've hit your head pretty hard, Bella. You seem to have retrograde amnesia. It appears that yours is quite lengthy."

"Amnesia? But that can't be. That means I've…"

"You've lost your memory. Yes, Bella. You've forgotten three years of your life."

**A/N: I've been reading amazing fanfiction after fanfiction, and I finally decided to try my hand at writing one. This story's inspired by Sophie Kinsella's Remember Me. Reading her books is my guilty pleasure. Please leave a review and tell me what you think!:)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. **

**Thanks so much for the alerts, favorites and your lovely reviews! Keep them coming because I love reading them!:)**

2: starting out on our journey

Come again?

I blink dumbly at Carlisle.

I can't just have…I can't just have _lost _three years of my life! I can't just have _forgotten! _Where did the three years worth of memories go to? They can't just disappear!

"That's…That's ridiculous. This is all a joke. It has to be." I stammer, befuddled.

Carlisle sighs patiently. "I know this is difficult. But there's still a chance of you regaining your memories. It's just locked up somewhere in your head because of a sharp trauma."

"But..But I remember getting drunk at Mike's place! It was just moments ago! We were just dancing…And Tyler puked all over the floor…And Alice…" Despair is leaking from my tone. I know I sound ridiculous. I sound like a whiny five-year-old. But I can't believe it. I can't believe that I've grown three years older…and just somehow, forgotten it.

Just like that.

"You're remembering the wrong incident, Bella." Carlisle says kindly, staring at me with a gentle smile. I look at him helplessly, my eyes starting to smart.

This is so very confusing.

This is frightening.

"So…you said today's May…2011?" I ask in a small voice, disbelief still very much evident in my tone.

Carlisle looks at me for a moment.

"Mary, please bring today's papers," Carlisle steps out for a bit and calls out to what I assume is a nurse.

Moments later, a nurse comes in with a set of newspapers.

I pluck it apprehensively from her hands.

My eyes very nearly bug out with fright as I stare at the date.

MAY 14 2011.

MAY 14.

2011.

Quickly, I scan the papers.

"Harry potter and the deathly hallows," I read aloud in confusion. "Part two of movie to air in July."

The deathly _what?_

It's impossible. I have all the books, right up till the latest one, Harry Potter and the Half blood prince.

Suddenly I feel quite faint.

I put away the papers and lean back on my bed.

"Are you alright?" Carlisle asks worriedly.

"I need some time. To think." I answer breathlessly, closing my eyes. "This is all very…strange."

"Right. I suppose I should leave you for a bit. There have been a lot of changes in three years."

I snap my eyes open abruptly.

"Wait. Carlisle, who was that…the man that was beside me when I woke up. Edward?" I ask.

Carlisle appears to be quite stumped by my question. He hems and haws and frowns at me, as if debating mentally whether or not to answer my question.

"Bella," He starts saying suddenly, in mild and gentle tones. I stare at him warily. He seems to be treating me like a child. "Edward…Edward's my son."

"Your son?"

I search my memory for a while. I remember Alice talking about her older brother who was forever travelling around the world and was hardly ever home. She talked about how Carlisle and Esme was always calling and asking him to come home but he was always a 'wild child', always the 'unrestrained stranger'. I could tell she missed him, from the way she used to smile wistfully while recounting their childhood tales.

I remembered wondering a bit about this distant brother of hers.

"Edward's Alice's brother?" I ask, my head getting more and more burdened by information.

"Yes," Carlisle nods.

"But why was he by my bedside?" I ask abruptly. "So what if he's Alice's brother? So what if he's your son? Did we somehow become BFFs in the three years?" I joked.

Carlisle hesitated.

"Um, Bella, he's actually your husband."

Hold the fuck up.

What?

_What?_

"I'm…I'm _married?_" I stutter in bewilderment. "To _him? _To _Edward?_"

"Yes." Carlisle looks at my carefully, as if he was dealing with a tricky child. He draws out his words slowly and patiently. "Look, you have a lot to take in. This is a lot of information, which you may find hard to absorb. But I assure you, Edward and I will be there with you, every step of the way. We'll be here to help you recover your memories. Most of your life remains the same. Alice is still always there for you. There's Jasper in the picture as well, now that they've married."

"They're _married?_" I interrupt. I can't believe it. Alice was always gushing about her biggest crush on Jasper Hale, the distant and aloof musician and frequents the bar we go to from time to time. They've only started dating when I last remember it. She's only just plucked up her courage to approach him.

And now they're apparently _married_?

My mind flashes back to when Edward was talking about how Alice had to go home because of the kids.

The _kids._

"They have _kids_?" I screech out.

Carlisle looks surprised. "You remember that?"

"Edward was saying something about kids. I didn't realize…I didn't think…" I trail off.

"Carlisle?" Edward pops his head into the room.

Both Carlisle and I swivel our heads to look at him. Well, Carlisle looks while I stare at him disbelievingly.

I'm _married._

I'm married to this…this man.

Edward darts a curious glance at me.

"Edward, you can come in." Carlisle sighs. "She's suffered a pretty hard knock on the head. I think it's a case of retrograde amnesia. She's forgotten three years of her life. Which means…"

"Which means…she doesn't remember me." Edward finishes, staring at me.

"I'm sorry," I can't help mumbling, tears prickling my eyes at the overwhelming changes that I'm forced to face.

"It's not your fault, Bella," Edward says.

In spite of myself, I feel something strange unfurling within my body when he says my name.

This is my husband speaking to me.

My _husband._

"I'll leave you two to talk. I'll be outside if you need me." Carlisle says.

"Okay," both Edward and I respond at the same time.

As Carlisle leave the room, the tension in the room thickens.

We remain awkwardly silent for a while.

"I've contacted your parents. Charlie and Renee are on their way. I've also informed Alice and Jasper that you've woken up. Rosalie and Emmett will probably come along with them to visit you tomorrow…"

Rosalie?

Emmett?

I must have had a confused expression on my face, because Edward adds in quickly, "oh right. Rose is Jasper's sister. You've probably never…er, met her, yet. Well you have, but you don't remember it. Emmett's my cousin. Which means he's also Alice's cousin. Because Alice is my sister. And er, I'm your…"

"Carlisle's told me," I sniffle.

"Oh."

"I mean, I'm not saying that I…don't like you." I stutter. "I'm sure that I do, or else why would I marry you? And I'm sure that deep down, somewhere, I probably really love you. But till I remember that, I hope you'll give me some time. And space."

"Of course," he exhales.

I peek up at him and realize that he's almost smiling to himself.

"I'll be patient with you Bella, I'll give you all the time you need." Edward speaks with a promise in his words.

"Thank you. That's all I ask," I reply quietly.

"You…" Edward struggles to say. "You don't have to be so formal with me. We'll start off as…friends. How does that sound?"

I manage a small smile. "That sounds great."

In return, Edward flashes me a crooked grin. I don't remember him, but my body does.

There's swooping feeling in my stomach when he smiles.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! More information about Bella's backstory is revealed in this chapter! Any thoughts on it? Please leave a review!:)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.**

3: withholding secrets

It has been three days since I woke up from the accident. Alice and Jasper pay me a brief visit the day after I woke up. I am excited to see Alice again, and get to know more about Jasper. Alice promises to tell me everything that happened in the three years after I am discharged. I've also met Rosalie and Emmett. It is a little awkward at first, but soon, I warm up to them. Emmett is impossibly goofy and funny, reminding me of a giant teddy bear. Rosalie seems a little withdrawn when she realizes that I can't remember her. We were pretty close before the accident, I am told. But she soon shakes off that minor setback and tells me firmly that she'll help me remember our friendship again.

The changes in my life terrify me a little, but I am glad to have such supportive friends with me, to help me along the way.

I shake off my thoughts and refocus my attention on my parents.

My parents manage to come by for a visit. While I am glad to see them, I can't help noticing how much they've aged. There are streaks of grey on their heads now, and Renee looks less energetic. She's always been a livewire. Now she seems more toned down and milder in behavior. There is something different about Charlie, as well. There is an unusual glow to him, something that isn't there before.

"Do you remember? I used to take you cycling, and you fell down a lot…" Renee babbles tearfully.

I sigh in frustration and struggle not to do an eye-roll.

Honestly.

Sometimes I can't stand my hare-brained mother.

"Mum," I groan in exasperation. "I haven't forgotten _everything_! I've only lost three years of my memory."

"Right," my mother frowns at me doubtfully. Charlie rolls his eyes behind her back and I bite back my laughter.

"You came all the way from Jacksonville without Phil?" I ask my mother. Renee and Charlie had split up when I was five. I have been alternating between living with Renee and Charlie while growing up, sticking more to Renee in my younger years. As I entered high school, however, Renee found Phil, a minor league baseball player. He's a little younger than her, but she's a child at heart, so they suit each other just fine. A month into high school, I decided to move to Forks, where Charlie lived, to give Renee and Phil alone time together. Besides, it couldn't hurt for more father-daughter bonding time.

Anyway, I don't hate Forks too badly now. It grows on me. I used to dislike visiting Forks while growing up, when I was still living with Renee. But that's partly because I hate fishing, which is what we always do when I come. And also because it reminds me of Renee's stifling days when she was still married to Charlie. I feel sad when I remember how my parents used to keep up the pretense that we were a warm loving family, especially at the dinner table for my sake.

They're happier now that they've split up.

I guess I'm happy too.

"Oh Phil's sorry he couldn't come," Renee smiles ruefully. "He sends his regards though. I'll come with him the next time we visit, I promise."

I nod, smiling softly at the way my mother's face would light up while speaking of Phil. Then, I shifted my attention to my father. Charlie fidgets a little from my scrutiny. "How have you been for these three years, dad?"

"Fine," he mutters gruffly, avoiding my gaze. I frown at him suspiciously.

Why is he behaving so strangely?

It can't be…

"Have you met someone?" I sit up, raising my brows.

"Oh I can't believe I'm doing this again," Charlie groans, two pink spots appearing on his cheeks. "It was difficult the first time round."

Renee chuckles. "Oh you're going to love Sue, Bella! She's been wonderful. Your dad's been lonely for a while, especially after you got married. But Sue came along and…"

"Renee!" Charlie lets out an embarrassed groan.

"Sue?" I search my memory, but nothing comes up.

"She lives at the reservation. You remember Jake, don't you? And my friend, Billy? The Blacks?" Charlie asks me.

A hazy image appears in my mind—A young boy, with a huge smile and bright eyes, squinting at me through the sunlight, his dark skin glinting in the brightness.

"I think so…the one you used to go fishing with?"

Charlie nods with a pleased expression on his face. "They live at the reservation to. La Push. Sue lost her husband several years ago. She brought up her kids, Seth and Leah, all alone. We started out as friends, after Billy introduced her to me…And then…er," Charlie trails off as a bashful smile lights up his face. He scratches his neck awkwardly.

"Aw dad! I'm so happy for you! Sue sounds like a wonderful person. I'd love to meet her."

"I wanted to bring her here today, but she told me to break the news to you first. She said that you might be overwhelmed with too much information."

I smile happily at my father, glad that he's finally found his own happiness.

Just then, Edward appears at the doorway. I can't help a small smile. In spite of my unfamiliarity with him, he's been keeping me company daily in the hospital, being really patient and sweet with me. I've grown to warm up to his presence. When Renee and Charlie came over, he left to give me and my parents a private moment together.

He smiles politely at my parents and turns to look at me. "Bella, Carlisle says that you can be discharged tomorrow! We're just about done with your final checkups."

I grin at the news—it's been awfully boring in the hospital and I can't wait to get out. Still, I can't help the dread at the pit of my stomach. My unfamiliarity with 2011 still bothers me.

"That's great," Renee smiles brightly at me. Charlie seems to be lost in thought as he gives me a distant smile.

"Edward?" Charlie calls out gruffly. "Can I speak to you for a second?"

Edward looks at my father, a resigned expression on his face. I turn to look questioningly at my mother but she simply smiles sadly at me.

What's all this about?

"We'll be outside," Edward says softly, locking his gaze on me. I give a small nod and watch as Charlie and Edward leave the ward.

"Mum? Can you tell me more about Edward?" I ask curiously.

"He's been wonderful to you, dear. I've never seen you happier. When you walked down the aisle, when your father handed your hand to him, I thought you were going to explode with joy," Renee chuckles as she relives the memory.

I force a smile but I can't help the insecurity that creeps up my back. I can't remember anything that she's telling me.

"How did we meet?" I probe further.

"Well, I think I'll let him tell you that himself," Renee smiles softly. "I should leave you to rest."

"Wait, just one more question. What's with Dad? And Edward?"

Renee's eyes tighten slightly, her smile seemingly more strained. She seems more guarded. "It's nothing much. Rest well, Bella. I have to get going."

"Alright," I sigh. "Bye mum."

She kisses me on the forehead and leaves the room.

I stare at nothing in particular, wondering about Charlie's strange behavior, Edward's forced smiles and Renee's guardedness.

Just what are they keeping from me?

Shaking my head, I decide to stop worrying and rest my head down on my pillow, falling into a dreamless slumber.

**A/N: Keep the reviews coming! Next chapter's already pre-written, so I'll update pretty soon.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.**

4: making discoveries

I feel something on my face.

Something warm and soft moves down my cheek tenderly. The same tender pressure disappears for a while, before coming back as it slides across my brow, my eyelids, and my lips. It tickles me, so I turn my face.

The warm pressure goes away.

"Wake up," a soft voice calls.

I frown slightly, not wanting to get up. I feel all warm and soft and blissful on my bed.

There is a warm chuckle, a deep and low one, which sparks off a strange yearning in my belly.

Fluttering my eyes open, I blink twice to moisten my eyes and stare unseeingly before me.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Edward asks. I turn to see him smiling softly at me.

"I'm okay," I mutter, my neck feeling sore.

"We need to start packing up."

"We're leaving? We're leaving the hospital now?" I shriek happily, sitting up and almost bouncing on the bed.

"Yes," Edward's eyes crinkle as he laughs at my enthusiasm. "I've done the paperwork. You were sleeping so soundly and I didn't want to wake you. We have to come back in two weeks for another checkup though, to see if things are okay."

I nod, scrambling off the bed in a rush.

We pack hurriedly because I am impatient and excited to finally leave the dreadfully boring place.

As we get to Edward's car, I stop short, my excitement fading and anxiety growing.

"_This _is your car?" I gasp, looking at the monstrous vehicle before me. It's a huge, luxurious car, its silver coat glinting in the sunlight.

"You picked it," Edward grins.

"I did?" I lay a hand on the smooth exterior of the car. "It's beautiful. But it must be expensive."

Edward rolls his eyes. "Yeah you were hesitant about picking this one. But it was the cheapest of the few that I'd shortlisted. The others were too small or ran too slowly."

"Are you really wealthy?" I blurt out.

Edward chuckles. "We do pretty well."

I nod curiously but don't say anything. I start to reach for the door but Edward playfully swats my hand away and opens the door for me. I smile briefly at his gentlemanly gesture and slip into the car.

If the exterior is good, the interior of the car is _amazing._

_"Wow," _I breathe.

"You liked to play songs on the stereo and sing along to them." Edward smiles fondly as he gets into the driver's seat.

"I don't sing very well, as I recall. Have I improved?" I joke.

Edward barks out a huge laugh. "Not really."

I pull a face and Edward chuckles harder than before.

As he starts the car, I grip my seatbelt tightly, the nerves setting in again.

"Are you cold?" Edward looks at my white knuckles. "You're shaking."

"No," I answer, my throat feeling dry. "Just a bit nervous."

Edward gives me a comforting smile, but I find it hard to smile back.

We're going to our _marital home. _Our _love nest._

Jesus.

At the corner of my eye I see one of Edward's hands reaching over, but it stops mid-air and goes back to resting on the steering wheel.

My heart drops a little.

"What's it like?" my voice cracks slightly and I berate myself mentally for my cowardly behavior.

"What?" Edward asks amusement evident in his voice.

"Our house."

Edward seems to ponder over the question for a bit.

"It's…_home._" he says finally.

"That sounds nice." I smile.

"It is," Edward agrees. "We're here."

_What?_

That's fast!

I peer outside the window to see a large side-gabled bungalow, with a beautiful porch and a large back yard.

Wow.

I live _here_?

Edward opens the door for me and I slide out slightly shakily.

There are no other houses in sight, only greenery and huge trees. This seems to be a rather remote area of Forks.

"Do you…like it?" Edward asks with a slight tremor to his tone.

I turn to face him, surprised. Edward seems nervous as well. He smiles, but anxiety radiates from his eyes.

"It's a lovely house." I say in awe, still staring at the pale walls and the beautiful backyard.

"Mum helped to design it." Edward nods towards the house, walking towards it.

I follow his lead, taking in the finer details of the house. "Mum?"

"My mum, Esme," Edward says. "You had a hand with the design of the backyard."

"Really?"

We step into the backyard first, and I stare at the plants and flowers that decorate the place.

It looks like the perfect garden from a storybook.

There is a single, tall willow tree, with large, overhanging leaves, lending shade to a two-seater wooden bench. A small pond before the bench glints off sunlight. I can almost see the tiny fish swimming around the pond. Flowers dot the place, almost everywhere.

I take a deep breath and get a whiff of the natural fragrance.

"We planted the flowers ourselves," Edward surprises me with the little fact.

"It's…perfect. Like a tiny piece of paradise." I murmur with wonder.

Edward stares at me, an unreadable expression on his face. "The garden is modeled vaguely after our meadow. You've said that before, that our meadow was like a tiny paradise."

"We have a meadow?" I ask, surprised.

"It's just a place we discovered when I took you hiking. In fact, it's just a short drive from here. I can take you there sometime." Edward grins beautifully.

My cheeks warm from the way he is gazing at me. I turn my attention back to the garden.

I can picture us sitting on the little bench, watching the fish make their lazy swim in the pond, watching the butterflies flutter about the flowers, just watching the world go by.

"You must be tired. Let's get in." Edward picks up my bags and leads me into the house.

The interior of the house is equally breathtaking. I love the homely atmosphere of the house. Everything is largely in warm, earthy tones—white, beige, peach and brown.

The kitchen is large and spacious. I can picture myself busying with cooking. The living room is cozy, and decorated with lots of pictures. I catch a glimpse of a picture of Edward and I, smiling goofily at each other. The picture seems to be taken while we were caught unaware. Then I see another picture, of Edward and me, holding hands and barefoot, standing on a beach. I'm in a pale yellow sundress and he's wearing a large straw hat. We look so happy.

"That was taken when we were on our honeymoon. We went to Maldives. It's a beautiful place. A little hot, but you were adamant about visiting again after we left the place. Do you…remember anything about it?'

I sigh, shaking my head. Edward tries to smile at me to reassure me that it's okay. But I can see the disappointment in his eyes.

We were so happy and so blissful and so _in love._

And I can't remember any of that.

"Do you want to take a look upstairs?" Edward asks after he sets down my bags.

I nod, struggling to smile.

Edward sees through my pretense and sighs. He takes my hand and I almost jump in shock from the sudden contact. "You don't have to be scared, or worried. We'll get through this. Together."

"I'm sorry I can't remember anything. I'm trying. I really am," I blubber, horrification hitting me as tears spring to my eyes.

"Bella," Edward lifts my face with his finger under my chin. "Look at me."

I look at him and try to blink back tears. Such a coward, I berate myself mentally.

"It's okay."

I stare into the endless green of his eyes, getting lost in the moment when the doorbell suddenly rings.

"That'll be Alice and Rose," Edward informs me, grinning as he goes to get the door.

I hear a flurry of activity as they exchange greetings and I walk towards the door to greet our visitors as well.

"I'm stepping out for a bit. You girls make yourselves at home," Edward smiles at Rosalie and his sister before leaving me with a lopsided grin and then leaving the house.

Alice gushes, "Isn't my brother just the sweetest thing ever? He knew you'd be uncomfortable with only you and him in the house. He thought some girl-bonding time would make you settle in better!"

"So where's he going now?" I ask, concerned.

"Um, he said that he'll be out late with Emmett and Jasper. I guess it's guy's night tonight as well," Rosalie tells me absently.

It hasn't been long since he left, but I start to think about Edward and his smiles. I may have forgotten him, but I guess some part of me still remembers him. My toes curl when he laughs, my face flames when he looks at me, my palms grow wet when he touches me.

Oh _god._

I feel like a fifteen year old.

And Edward's my fifteen year old schoolgirl crush.

"What's with that expression?" Alice asks, laughing.

"Do you want a drink?" I feel my cheeks warming at getting caught while indulging myself in a mindless daydream.

"We'll help ourselves, Bella," Rosalie grins. "It's not our first time here, you know."

"I bet you're dying to ask us questions! You'll probably want to know all about your life in 2011!" Alice gushes excitedly.

I hesitate for a moment.

"Can you tell me more about Edward?" I ask, fidgeting with the hem of my shirt.

"What do you want to know?" Rosalie asks interestedly. We make ourselves comfortable on the living room couch before I start my questions.

"Like, um, how did we meet?"

Alice and Rosalie flash each other a knowing smile.

"You two are just the cutest thing ever!" Alice starts to chatter excitedly. "My brother's always been distant, you know that," I nod eagerly. "And then, for some reason, he missed home and decided to visit. We were turning twenty five then. It was my birthday party and as my best friend, of course you were there. Edward was there as well. And for the whole night, you two couldn't take your eyes off each other!"

Rosalie nods excitedly. "I was there as well. It's how I got to know Emmett, too. You and I also became friends after the party. You were adamant that it was just a silly crush and you refused to admit that it was love at first sight—"

"Ah, but the all-seeing Alice knows all. I knew you two were meant to be.' Alice interrupts. "It took you guys a whole six months to finally _see _that you were in love—of course, with the help of Rose and me!"

"That's true. You were so clueless about the way Edward feels about you. You needed some major pushing from us to finally admit that you love him." Rosalie adds.

"And obviously you managed to make my brother stay. Esme and Carlisle are tremendously grateful to you, you know. So am I! Finally my brother's decided to settle down!"

"It's awesome how we're all within the family. Emmett's the cousin, Alice and Edward are brothers, Jasper's my brother, so we're somehow all related!" Rosalie chimes in.

"Rose, that sounds a bit disturbing," Alice comments hysterically and I giggle a little.

Alice continues, "well anyway, you dated for about five months more although honestly I didn't really see the need because you two were so perfect for each other and already so crazy in love, but anyway, after that, Edward proposed!"

"And the rest is history!" Rosalie nods.

"So we've been married for only about a year." I say, doing the math in my head.

"Yes, but you still look at him all starry eyed, don't you? I bet even after ten years of marriage you two will still stare at each other with goofy expressions," Alice says with a laugh.

I feel my face warm.

"This is just the brief, condensed version of it. If you want all the details like when you first kissed, when he first jumped your bones—"

"Rosalie!" I shriek, shocked at her bluntness.

Oh my God. It hasn't even hit me yet—that Edward and I had _sex._

"Look at her!" Alice laughs. "Always the prude."

"You've shared your sex life with us Bella," Rosalie explains calmly. "We know all about each other's stories. Well, you'd prefer not to hear mine."

"Yeah they're disgusting," Alice chuckles.

I blush as I recall Emmett, the giant teddy bear I met in the hospital, in the bedroom with Rosalie, and becoming not so fun and cuddly as a teddy bear anymore…

"Alright, alright!" I say loudly in mortification. "Um, what does Edward do for a living?" I hastily ask, desperate for a subject change.

Alice wrinkles her nose. "Well if you'd ask me, I don't think he enjoys his job much."

"So what is his current job?" I ask, curious. I remember the car, and think about our monstrous house…his job must be pretty decent.

"He's a commercial airline pilot. He flies for Meyer Airlines," Rosalie tells me. "It used to be an exciting job, when he first started out. Now it's fucking stressful, if you'd ask me. In fact, it's listed at the top if the list of America's most stressful jobs this year. It's true. I googled it."

"He must be away from home a lot," I muse.

"He is," Alice quips. "Sometimes I think it's too much. I mean, he's a total workaholic! He's forever working and leaving you—"

"Alice!" Rosalie interrupts harshly. Alice claps a hand over her mouth and stares at me guiltily.

I frown suspiciously. "What were you going to say?"

"Er, nothing really. I mean, I can understand where he gets his passion for his work from. He took a long time training for it. I mean, it's not wrong for a man to want to earn big bucks, so he can take care for his family…" Alice trails off, frantically darting her eyes around.

Looking at anywhere but me.

I sigh and recognize her desire to change the subject. I'll probe further into this matter at the later date, I note mentally.

"What about me? Do I have a job?" I volunteer a question. "Am I still a journalist?

Before 2008, I was working as a journalist at Breaking Dawn Press. I loved the job. It offered me a challenge, and the working environment was pleasant.

"No, you don't," Alice tells me regretfully. "Well before you got married you were still working as a journalist. I could tell you enjoyed the job. But after you got married, you and Edward decided that you give up the job to stay home."

My face falls involuntarily.

"You never stopped writing, though," Rosalie brightens up. "You've shown me some of the stuff you write. It's all saved in your laptop."

"Hey that's a brilliant idea! Bella, maybe reading some of your work may help you regain your memory!" Alice adds.

I widen my eyes, intrigued. I promise myself to look into that as soon as possible.

**A/N: This chapter is at least a thousand words longer than the previous ones:) There is more information about Edward and Bella's backstory before the accident. I hope you're still interested in this story! Keep reading to find out more! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.**

5: habits

Rather than easing my frustration and curiosity about the unfamiliar new life that I now lead, Rosalie and Alice's answers only lead to more doubts and questions.

Unfortunately, Alice has the kids waiting for her at home, and Rosalie has to take care of Emmett's supper as well. ("He's like a bottomless pit. He never stops eating!" Rosalie tells me.)

Oh, I still can't get over the fact that my best friend, Alice, has _kids._

"Oh they totally love you. You're their god-mom, you know." Alice reassures me. She tells me more about her one-year-old twins, Ryan and Cody, gushing about how much they resemble their dreamy father.

The mention of her twins reminds me of Victoria's own little devils, but I don't tell Alice that.

"I'll tell you more, but I really have to leave," Alice smiles sadly.

"We'll come again soon, though," Rosalie grins.

"You'll always be welcome," I smile, walking them to the door. "Thanks for today."

We exchange kisses and hugs and I watch them leave.

Suddenly there is an incessant ringing in the house and I scurry towards the source of the sound.

I find a cell phone in a bag.

Or at least, I think it's a cell phone.

It doesn't have any buttons and it looks too flat and too sleek.

Edward's name flashes repeatedly on the screen. I spend some time figuring out how to manipulate the tricky device before finally managing to pick up the call.

"Hello?" I answer nervously.

"Hi Bella, it's Edward. Um, I'm heading back now. I was just wondering, is there anything you need? I can drop by the mart," Edward says.

"I don't think so," I say. "Is this my phone?" I blurt out stupidly.

"Yes," Edward laughs. "Sorry I forgot that you probably don't remember about that."

"Where did all the buttons go to?" I ask him.

"It's an iPhone, Bella. You can't live without yours." Edward says. I can hear a smile in his tone. "It's touchscreen, hence no buttons."

"Oh yes, I think I remember hearing about it when it was first launched." I murmur absently.

"I'm driving now, I'll talk to you later?" Edward says.

"Okay, see you soon," I reply.

After a few moments of struggling with the touchscreen device, I finally manage to hang up.

I glance at the coffee table in the living room to catch sight of a larger version of the iPhone.

Puzzled, I pick it up. "What's this?" I wonder to myself.

I press a button and watch in fascination as the device springs to life.

"Bella, I'm home," I hear Edward call from the doorway.

"What's this?" I ask him, lifting up the giant iPhone as he walks into the house.

"It's called an iPad," Edward tells me. "It's touchscreen as well."

"What a stupid name," I laugh. Edward chuckles along. "That's what you said when they first launched it."

"What do you want for dinner?" Edward asks.

I look up at him, putting the iPad down. I haven't even realized how hungry I've gotten. "I'm not sure. What do you feel like eating? What do we usually eat?"

"Well, usually you cook, but I think you should take a break after such a long day." Edward gives me a gentle smile. "How about we just order pizza and catch some shows on the TV?"

"Sounds great," I tell him, grinning.

When the pizza delivery arrives, I hurry to collect the food, my stomach already growling from the wait.

Edward chuckles at my enthusiasm. "You haven't forgotten the taste of pizza, have you?"

"No, but I've gone without it almost long enough to forget," I sigh as I take in my first bite.

We watch some telly as we munch merrily on our dinner.

"So, tell me about our lives," I ask, reaching for my second slice.

Something changes in Edward's eyes. "It's just like any other married life, I guess," he finally says.

"Oh," I respond. I have a tingling sensation that Edward's hiding something.

But why? His answer isn't quite the answer I was expecting.

Okay, I was expecting something more along the lines of _We have great sex regularly _or _You were a great kisser._

Edward probably thinks that he'll frighten me. I mean, husbands don't go around telling their amnesiac wives about their performance in…

Okay that's right. Maybe I am too sensitive. Come to think of it, there's nothing suspicious about his answer.

Obviously married couples lead rather similar lives. They probably all have similar habits.

"I don't want to change anything about our lifestyle," I suddenly hear myself saying. Edward looks up to stare at me questioningly. "I mean," I continue. "You shouldn't have to change your habits because of my…problem."

"Bella," Edward starts to say, a kind smile on his face. "It's okay. I'm your husband. I'm willing to adapt to new situations with you."

"No, what I mean is," I amend my words hastily. "Maybe going back to our usual routine and habits will allow me to recover my memory faster. It's what I was familiar with, anyway."

Edward frowns at me doubtfully, but he keeps silent and nods for me to continue.

Encouraged by his attention, I elaborate, "For example, what are some of the habits that we have? Do we have rules about keeping the toilet seat up or down, or who cleans the house…"

Edward chuckles. "Well if you must know, we don't really have rules about that. It's a silent agreement. I keep the seat down after I've finished going about my business," I blush at this. Edward continues. "And you lift it up after you finish yours. We hire a housekeeper to clean the house once a week. She comes by every Saturday. If you're talking about daily chores like doing the dishes, we usually take turns. There is no fixed arrangement though. When I'm busy, you'd offer to do the dishes and vice versa."

"Keep going," I say enthusiastically.

"Well, you usually kiss me goodbye when you send me off to work in the mornings. I work as a pilot at Meyer Airlines, seven days a week. I've recently taken leave to accompany you while you settle in, though," Edward grins. "For breakfast, you usually make bacon with eggs. You like to have juice, I like to have milk. We eat lunch separately. For dinner, like I said earlier, you usually cook. There is no fixed menu though. You liked to be creative."

I nod, encouraging him to continue.

Edward goes on, "Oh we like to take baths together and we usually walk around naked."

I splutter on my coke.

What?

_What?_

Involuntarily I let my eyes wander around Edward's torso.

Edward laughs out loud. "I'm kidding. I'm kidding about the last part."

I feel my face flame in mortification.

"Sorry Bella, did I go too far?" Edward asks, tears still in his eyes.

"You don't seem very sorry," I mutter crossly, narrowing my eyes.

Edward laughter gradually dies down. "So, do you have any more questions?"

I ponder for a moment.

"Edward, why don't I have a job?" I hear myself saying.

There is a pregnant pause.

Edward looks at me intently. "Do you want to go back to your job?"

I don't miss that Edward's answering my question with another question, but I don't point that out.

"Can I?" I ask in a small voice. I don't know why but a gut feeling tells me that this is a rather tricky subject.

Edward looks at my face searchingly. "If you want to, you can go back," he finally says with a smile in his voice.

"Really?" I exclaim in elation.

"Really," Edward confirms, flashing me a lopsided grin. "I'm sure Breaking Dawn will be happy to have you again."

We finish our dinner and clean up together. Then, comes the million-dollar-question. The question I've been meaning to ask.

"So, er, what about our sleeping habits?" I ask quietly.

Edward stills in his movements. "We share a bed, of course."

"Of course," I echo stupidly.

"If you're uncomfortable with that, I can sleep in the guest room. It's okay."

"Don't be silly, I won't kick you out of your own bedroom," I say.

"Are you sure, Bella?" Edward asks me, his eyes intense.

I nod dumbly.

I can only hope this isn't a wrong decision.

**A/N: Some of your reviews really crack me up. Keep them coming!:)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.**

6: amiss

I wake up in the morning to find myself snuggling against a very warm, very unconscious Edward.

My face flames in embarrassment as I discover that I may have shamelessly thrown myself at Edward while asleep last night.

It's no excuse that I was probably unconscious. I may even have sexually assaulted him unknowingly, and Edward was probably too polite to push me off the bed.

I try to scramble off the bed before Edward wakes up to discover that he's been molested by me in his sleep.

However, I realize that something hard is preventing me from moving. "Bella," Edward mumbles almost incoherently. I find out that he has an arm snaked around my waist in a viselike grip. He pulls me hard against his body so that my back is pressed against his wonderfully defined abs.

"Where're you going?" He mumbles into my hair. "Stay."

I can feel his strong, steady heartbeat pounding against my back. And I'm quite sure that my heart beat is pounding just as hard right at this moment.

We match, breath for breath, listening to each other breathe quietly.

"You're warm," Edward hums. His voice vibrates through me.

"You're hard," I blurt out.

There is silence. I can't even hear our breathing. I think I may have forgotten how to breathe. The implications of my clipped statement hit me.

Mortification creeps up my back and I feel my face flush warm.

Edward makes a strangled sound at the back of his throat.

"I don't mean that— I mean, you're really…muscular. No, that's not it. You feel muscular. No, shit. What I mean to say is, you've got a really nice chest...really nice abs." I elaborate hastily. "Er, really, well-defined."

A low chuckle resonates from within his chest and I feel him shaking behind me. Then, Edward releases me and gets up from bed.

I scurry off the bed in embarrassment and anxiety and almost stub my toe in the process.

Turning around, I catch Edward lazily running his fingers through his hair (which is looking pretty wacky right now-sticking up in all directions.) while leaning against the headboard.

A sudden vision of Edward doing this very same action in a totally different time hits me. It's so impactful and it grips me so hard that I stumble.

"Bella?" Edward darts forward to catch me. "What's wrong?"

"I remembered something," I gasp.

"What? What?" Edward's dark eyes search my face questioningly; his hands are warm on my cheeks.

"Nothing much, really. Just you. On the bed. With your hair everywhere. Just like right now." I manage to say.

"Oh," Edward finally exhales.

"It's still a memory though. Does that mean I'm recovering?" I ask, staring at him.

"Maybe," Edward says, looking distracted. "Hey Bella, will you be alright alone today? My leave is over. I need to return to work." He glances quickly at the clock by the wall and mutters a profanity lowly.

"I'm going to be late." He says, flustered. He rushes out of bed and goes to wash up.

"Anything I can do to help?" I ask as Edward reappears from the bathroom. He hasn't bothered to shave but still manages to look yummy. His hair is in its usual disarray but it's more tamed than when he first got up. He takes several long strides to the wardrobe and picks out his clothes.

"It's fine," Edward mumbles, stripping down to his boxers.

I don't know if I should turn away, but Edward seems too preoccupied to care. He's pulling off his shirt now, and I see the wonderful abs for the first time. Feeling them was good. Seeing them is unbelievable. They are absolutely beautiful.

"Wow."

Shit. Did I say that out loud?

I bury my face in my hands. I hear a low chuckle and feel Edward coming over to drop a kiss on my head.

When I lift my head to look he's already out of the room. "Breakfast?" I call out loudly.

"Nope. Running late!" Edward replies.

I hear the door shut and sigh as emptiness comes around me again.

Well, maybe I can do some job hunting today.

I get up, freshen up, and make myself some toast.

The sky looks good today, but I don't feel confident enough to wander about out on the streets. I'll probably not find my way back.

I decide to stay in and look up on suitable jobs on the internet. Or maybe make some calls to Breaking Dawn and see if they'll have me back.

I find a laptop in the study room. There's not much of a difference between laptops in 2008 and 2011. I recognize the button to switch the machine on.

Shit. A password.

I scramble to think. I always used the same six digits. I guess I have to try my luck.

247865, I type.

As the password gets through I feel a surge of triumph.

I am about to click on _Internet Explorer_ when a folder catches my attention.

I hover my mouse over the _My Stuff_ folder.

In the folder there are three more folders.

_Pictures._

_My writings._

_Edward._

Edward?

There's a folder about Edward. I want to click on it, but _My writings _seems like a fairly interesting folder to explore as well. I remember Alice and Rosalie telling me about some stuff that I wrote. Maybe sending in some of my written work to Breaking Dawn will help in my job application. Besides, the _Edward _folder may contain some really private stuff that I may be unable to stomach, considering my amnesia and my current state of confusion. Maybe I was a pervert who enjoyed taking kinky pictures of my husband.

Hmm.

I decide to look at the _Edward _folder later.

I double click on _My writings _and a whole lot of files appear like little squares dotting the screen.

I open some of the documents and read some of my work.

Damn.

I was good.

This only increases my confusion. I don't understand about why I gave up on my job. It's clear that I loved it, even after I resigned. I wrote regularly, writing about my personal experiences or about my input on certain articles in the papers.

I learn more about the three years that I missed out from my own writing.

I learn about that Sri Lankan civil war ended with military defeat of the LTTE in May 2009. I learn about Michael Jackson's death in June 2009. (He's dead?)I learn about a horrible earthquake that occurred in Haiti in January 2010. I learn that Spain won the 2010 FIFA World Cup, which was held in South Africa.

Among the articles that I have collected in the folder, I can't help noticing that many of them are about airplane crashes and accidents.

_June 1, 2009: Air France Flight 447, en route from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil to Paris, crashes into the Atlantic Ocean, killing all 228 on board_

_June 30, 2009: Yemenia Flight 626 crashes off the coast of Moroni, Comoros, killing all but one of the 153 passengers and crew_

_July 15, 2009: Caspian Airlines Flight 7908 crashes near Qazvin, Iran, killing all 168 on board._

_January 25, 2010: Ethiopian Airlines Flight 409 crashes into the Mediterranean Sea shortly after take-off from Beirut Rafic Hariri International Airport, killing all 90 people on-board._

_May 22, 2010: Air India Express Flight 812 overshoots the runway at Mangalore International Airport in India, killing 158 and leaving 8 survivors._

_November 4, 2010: Aero Caribbean Flight 883 crashes in central Cuba, killing all 68 people on board_

My mind flickers to Edward. A sense of disarm shoots through my nerves.

I've never really thought about pilots. They are cool. They look smart in their uniform. They fly planes.

Until my _husband's _actually one, I haven't actually considered the risks behind this job.

I stare unblinkingly at the screen for a few moments. Taking in the facts and processing over the deaths.

I'm not really sure why I do it, but I close the file and open the _Edward _folder.

I frown in confusion as I see files named after dates.

_June 1, 2009_ is the first file.

I click on it.

_Dear Edward_

_I love you. So much._

_Yours_

_Bella_

It is brief. But somehow I can feel that it means so much more.

I open another document.

_June 20, 2009_

_Dear Edward_

_Happy Birthday! It's the first birthday we've spent together as a married couple. I still can't believe that I'm finally Mrs. Cullen. I can't believe that you're mine now!_

_When you blew out the candles on your cake, you left one still lit up, telling me to make a wish, too._

_I made a wish, but I didn't tell you what it is about._

_I wished that we'll always be as happy, as we are today._

_Yours_

_Bella_

All these seem like diary entries, only they were all addressed to Edward.

I decide to skip all the files in between and click on the last file.

_January 30, 2010_

_Dear Edward_

_Why has it come to this? How did things become the way they are right now?_

_I'm trying, I really am._

_But somehow I think you and I both know that we're merely grabbing fruitlessly onto false hope._

_Things have changed. It's going to be difficult for us to go back to the days before…_

_You never smile at me anymore. Your eyes used to be so full of life. But now they're dead. Empty._

_I can't help it._

_I'm struggling._

_I want to give up._

_I can feel you struggling, as well._

_I don't want this. Maybe you should let go as well. _

_Bella_

Stricken, I read the lines again.

What does that mean?

Frantically, I click onto the file before this last one.

_January 13, 2010_

_Dear Edward_

_I'm sorry. _

_I really am._

_I don't know what else to say. I know it's not enough._

_I see you blaming yourself._

_It's not your fault, Edward._

_I know you tell me it's not mine, either._

_But I can't help it._

_I know it's hurting us both. It's hurting the people we love as well._

_Sometimes I wish_

"Bella?"

Shit.

I feel like a deer caught in the headlights. I press the 'switch off' button hastily.

My mind is reeling, considering all the possibilities.

What did I wish for?

_Sometimes I wish…_what?

What happened to Edward and I? I blamed myself…for what? Why was Edward blaming himself as well?

Was it…

Oh no.

It can't be.

Did I have an affair?

The thought goes away as quickly as it comes. That's impossible.

I can never be unfaithful—especially not when Edward's my husband.

Maybe…he's been unfaithful?

I feel a something lodged in my throat at the thought.

It kills me, just to think of it. I struggle to keep myself composed.

If Edward didn't love me anymore, why would he still accompany me? He should have left, while I didn't remember him anymore.

He should've taken advantage of my situation and left.

That means that option's probably out, as well.

I heave a sigh of relief.

"Bella?" someone calls again.

Oh crap.

Right.

"Coming!" I call out, flustered.

Whoever it is at the door has absolutely crap timing.

**A/N: Lol are you more confused or have I answered some of your questions? Leave a review and tell me what you think!:) Thanks so much for reading!**

**Information about major events which happened in 2009 and 2010 are from wikipedia. Not very reliable, I know. But it's for a fanfic. The deatils won't exactly affect the gist of the story. If there're any inaccuracies, please pardon me.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry if you're receiving crazy alerts. I had some problems uploading the chapters and deleted a chapter by accident so i had to upload them again.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.**

7: confusion

"Jacob?" The name bubbles through my lips even before I process the face before me.

The man standing at the door smiles at me widely. Before I can react, his arms pull me into his chest for a bone-crushing hug.

"Oh God, let go of me!" I manage to wheeze.

"Bells? You okay? I heard about the accident. You've gotten me really worried." The man is saying. His dark eyes scan my face worriedly.

I stare back at him in confusion. The man has a boyish face, but an incredibly muscular frame. I have to admit, he's pretty good-looking in a rugged kind of way.

Something about his eyes stirs me inside. There's something familiar about him that I cannot pinpoint.

Oh wait. I called him Jacob.

Jacob.

My mind flashes back to the day in the hospital when Charlie visited. Oh yes. Billy Black's son who lives in the reservation at La Push.

"Jacob? Jacob Black?" My voice comes out wary and uncertain.

The smile on the man's face falters a bit. "So it's true? The amnesia?"

"Yeah, sorry about that," I grin sheepishly. "Er, I don't really know you right now."

Jacob chuckles. "Silly Bella. Why are you apologizing?"

"Would you like to come in?" I ask, flitting nervously to the side.

"Bella," Jacob remonstrates seriously. "You just told me you don't know me, and you're letting a stranger into your house so easily?"

"You don't seem bad," I admit.

"I'm your best friend, Bells," Jacob chuckles. "I'd never hurt you. But you should still be careful."

I nod. "So are you coming in?"

Jacob laughs again and steps in.

We settle comfortably onto the couch in the living room and I get him a drink.

"So, do you really not remember anything about me?" Jacob asks.

"Well, I have bits and pieces…like, little fragments of memories about you. We went fishing with our dads when we were little, didn't we?"

"Whoa, that was donkey years ago," Jacob laughs, surprised. "You remember that? What about recently?"

"I can't remember the past three years," I reveal. "I feel so useless, sometimes. Edward's been really patient and accommodative, but the feeling of not remembering anything still sucks. I feel so insecure…"

Jacob looks angry suddenly. "What—they didn't tell you?" Jacob hisses incredulously. "You can't remember the accident, can you? And they didn't let you know what happened?"

"Sorry? I didn't quite…catch that," I trail off, watching his expression.

"I expected him to take better care of you. Not get you into a stupid accident. Christ, Bella."

I stare at him, uncomprehending.

"We dated briefly, Bella." Jacob tells me. "The year before you met Edward. Then we decided that we were better off as friends. You're still my best friend, though. I still care for you. When you met Edward, I was honestly happy for you. He looked like a reliable guy. Good for you. I made him promise me that he'll never make you unhappy. Everything was great—until you got married. It was completely screwed up. You assured me that everything was fine. I didn't know anything until I visited you last month. Jesus."

"What happened?" I feel nervous, all of a sudden.

Jacob makes an exasperated noise with his throat. "I don't know if I should tell you this, Bells. Charlie told me that you had to be kept calm. But I assumed that you knew about the accident. I assumed that you got over it. I thought you were okay with it. If that was the case, it would've been none of my business. I wouldn't have interfered. I didn't think…I didn't know that they'd kept it from you!"

"Jacob, calm down," I try to assure him.

Jacob lifts his eyes to look at me. "Maybe the amnesia's a blessing in disguise," Jacob says finally.

I stare at him, mystified. "What's with that cryptic statement? You have to tell me what's going on, Jacob. "

"I can't," Jacob says bleakly. "It's probably for the best. You shouldn't have to hear this from me. Edward fucking Cullen should be the one to explain."

"Jacob, everyone's been keeping me in the dark. They think I don't know, but I can sense that they're keeping something from me. You have to tell me." I implore pleadingly.

"All I can say is…I visited you a month ago, because you stopped going down to the rez," Jacob begins hesitantly. I nod, prodding him to continue. "I was worried. You visited pretty regularly, even before you got married. But a few months into your marriage, you stopped. I came by with Leah, and when we saw you…" Jacob falters.

"What is it?" I whisper, my nerves prickling.

"You were a wreck, Bells. It killed me to see you like that." Jacob finally spits out.

"What does that mean? What happened?" I gaze at Jacob beseechingly. "Please, you have to explain."

"I told you, you'll have to get your answers from Edward Cullen. I don't know why they didn't tell you, but I'm guessing that it won't help your condition."Jacob says flatly.

"But-"

"I have to go, Bells. I came by to see you and to give you this." Jacob hands over a card.

I take it from his hands and scrutinize it curiously.

"It's a wedding invitation," Jacob gives me a half-smile. "Leah and I are getting married."

"That's…great," I mumble, confused by the turn of events.

"Leah sends her regards. You probably don't remember her, but she misses you a great deal." Jacob says. "This is probably shit timing, Bella, with your accident and all. But I really want you to come. You're my best friend. You have to be there. I don't care if you bring Edward along."

I nod dumbly.

"See you, Bella. Visit soon," Jacob says, pulling me in for a brief hug.

I hug him back and send him off.

When the house is silent again, I think hard to process the new influx of information.

What the fuck did that mean?

I was a wreck last month when Jacob visited. And Edward got me into the accident?

It seems that the accident isn't as simple as it looks like. Apparently there were a lot of incidents leading up to the accident. Jacob says that I was a wreck last month.

And I stopped visiting the reservation a few months into my marriage.

If we were best friends, I would have told him about my problems. Why did I stop visiting him? What was so serious that I couldn't even bring myself to confide in him?

What did Edward do?

A sinking feeling of dread settles in the pit of my stomach.

Shit. Maybe the affair theory is right

Maybe Edward's only staying with me because he feels guilty about the accident. Maybe when I recover my memory he'll leave me.

My mind springs back to the laptop. Oh yes. The laptop!

I scurry back to the study room and switch on the laptop impatiently.

The screen lights up and I type in the password hastily.

Suddenly the doorbell rings.

Crap. I stand up to answer the door again. What's with all the visitors today?

In my flustered state, I accidently knock over the laptop.

I watch in disbelief as the laptop skids across the surface of the table and falls to the ground.

Oh fuck. I dart my arms out to catch the machine but it's too late.

A loud crash resounds in the room.

Fuck!

"Anyone home?" A voice calls out, muffled by the door.

Shit. "Coming!" I yell out. Damn it. Now what do I do?

I decide to ignore the laptop and attend to my visitor first.

I reach the door breathlessly.

Two high school boys stare at me grouchily. "You have a delivery, ma'am."

"Riley? James?" I screech in disbelief.

The last time I saw Riley and James was back when I was eighteen. They were mischievous nine year olds then. Babysitting was hardly fun, but I wanted the allowance.

The boys before me look to be around seventeen or eighteen. They are dressed casually, in jeans and graphic tees. Even though they changed pretty drastically in appearance, I'll recognize those bright blue eyes and devilish red hair anywhere.

"My, you boys sure grew up!" I exclaim. "I hope you're not going around breaking hearts in school."

One of them rolls his eyes. The other stares at me curiously. "Who are you?" The curious one asks.

"You may not remember me, but I babysat for your mum once, with my friend. You painted poor Whiskers and left her on a tree," I chuckle.

Both of them are eyeing me with interest now. "You're…what was it…Bella?" The eye-roller struggles to recall.

"You've got great memory," I nod, impressed.

"Oh you're that clumsy girl who fell down while chasing Whiskers around the house." The curious one laughs, remembering.

I can't help blushing in embarrassment.

"You have a delivery," The eye-roller repeats, rolling his eyes again.

"Right," I scramble to sign for my package. It seems to be an order for some books. "So you kids in high school now, huh?"

"Duh," one of them mutters.

I cock an eyebrow and stare at them. "How's your mum?"

"What's with the small talk? Ri, let's go," the eye-roller mutters, already turning to leave. So the eye-roller is James, I note mentally. The curious one must be Riley, then.

"Hold up!" I call after them.

They turn around to look at me with bored expressions.

"Are you working right now? You make deliveries?" I enquire.

"Yeah," Riley says. "What does it look like we're doing?"

"Which means…you guys want to make some money…" I continue.

"Well, duh." James laughs mockingly. "Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out. That's what jobs are for."

"Well, I have a job for you," I declare, letting them bite the bait.

James narrows his eyes at me. Riley looks at me interestedly.

"I need you guys to find out something for me. I'll pay you, of course." I say.

"You mean, like a private investigator?" Riley asks.

I allow a smile to creep up my face.

**A/N: I don't plan to drag the plot and make things really slow-paced, but sometimes I'm not sure if the plot is unravelling too quickly. We're kind of reaching the Big Reveal now. Some of you have made your guesses, but I'm not going to tell you if you're right or wrong- wouldn't want to spoil the fun, would we?:) **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Over a hundred alerts! Thanks so much for the support!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.**

The laptop has officially died.

I've tried (unsuccessfully) to revive it, pressing almost all the buttons and keys.

Nothing happens.

It's hopeless.

I sigh dramatically. I am_ so_ close to discovering something vital to my life before the accident, and my only piece of clue is destroyed. By my own two hands, no less.

I don't know how to tell Edward about the broken laptop. I'm assuming that the laptop belongs to me, since it contains my files and needs my password. But still. He'll probably want to know why I crashed a laptop in his absence. And I'll have to explain about how I was in the midst of uncovering a deep dark secret that may possibly endanger our relationship when the stupid doorbell rang.

Or maybe I can go straight to the point. Maybe I can ask him about it. I can ask Edward if he knows about the files and the cryptic letters addressed to him.

No.

He can't know that.

What if he really has an affair?

My heart sinks in dismay. Okay, so I don't really _love _him, since I don't remember him and everything. But I think I'm beginning to like him. And I've already begun to regard him as family. If he really has an affair, I'll probably...

Oh I can't even think about it.

Okay. Let's not be so hung up over this theory. For all I know, maybe it's not an affair after all! Maybe it's something else.

I just _don't know _what it is.

I rack my brains, thinking hard.

What can possibly be so serious, such that I can't tell Jacob or confide in anyone?

My mind flashes to Charlie and Edward at the hospital, when they quietly withdrew themselves to have a private chat.

I think about the luxurious car. And then the house.

He's really wealthy...

Oh my God.

Maybe Edward's in the Mafia!

I am gripped by a sudden vision of Edward looking ruthless and deadly in a dark suit and a pair of shades, with ten men dressed identically following behind him.

Charlie's the Police Chief of Forks. Maybe that's why he was so grim that day at the hospital. His son-in-law is in the Mafia, and he can't arrest him because then who'll take care of his daughter?

No.

That's impossible. It's so ridiculous it's laughable! Edward in the _Mafia_?

What am I_ thinking_?

I laugh hysterically at the thought.

Edward's told me that he's a pilot. It should be true, since I have all those files about airplane crashes in the laptop. I must have been concerned about him. His job has its risks after all.

So what is it?

I think about the words that I wrote in the laptop.

_You never smile at me anymore. Your eyes used to be so full of life. But now they're dead. Empty._

_I can't help it._

_I'm struggling._

_I want to give up..._

Our relationship must have been pretty strained.

_I see you blaming yourself._

_It's not your fault, Edward._

_I know you tell me it's not mine, either._

_But I can't help it._

_I know it's hurting us both. It's hurting the people we love as well._

Hurting the people we love as well?

What does that mean?

All this thinking is giving me a headache.

Maybe I should-

I am distracted by a beautiful baby grand piano at the corner of my eye.

No way. I can play the piano?

The thought dies just as quickly as when it first planted itself in my head.

That's impossible, I chuckle to myself humorlessly.

It's likely to be Edward's since I've never been musically inclined.

Still, the piano sparks an interest within me. I cautiously walk toward it and sit on the bench.

Fingering the ivory keys lightly, I realise that there's a thin layer of dust on it.

It's probably not been played in a while.

I don't know why, but I feel a sudden urge to play something. I've never really taken an interest in the piano before, so I'm not sure why I do it.

But I place my hands gingerly on the keys.

I press a key lightly and a soft C note lingers in the air.

Oh my God.

How did I know that was a C note?

Hesitantly, I start to play something by instinct.

And I can't believe it. I'm delivering a soft tune, something that sounds strangely familiar but I can't place it.

Holy shit I've become a pianist extraordinaire!

The song flows effortlessly from my fingertips, the notes weaving and interlacing into a complex masterpiece that sounds strangely like a lullaby.

"Bella?"

I stop suddenly, turning around to see Edward staring at me with an unreadable expression in the doorway?

"You're back! How was work?" I babble, slightly shocked by his sudden appearance. Guilt immediately eats into me as I remember the deal I made with James and Riley.

Oh God.

What kind of a wife am I?

I actually sent a bunch of teenagers to spy on my own husband!

"You were playing..." Edward trails off, his expression slightly stunned.

"Yes! Oh my God. I've become a pianist! I've never been able to play! Maybe it's the after-effects of the accident, or something! You know, like in the movies when the comatose patient suddenly wakes up and develops a talent! Oh my God maybe that's it! I've been possessed by Beethoven!" I am aware that I'm gushing and not making any sense but I can't seem to stop.

"I taught you that," Edward smiles softly. "So no, you aren't possessed, don't worry."

"What? Really?" I say, trying to keep in control of my emotions.

"It's your lullaby," Edward grins crookedly. "I can't believe you remember it."

"Well," I pause, pondering deeply. "Not really. I didn't know what I was playing. I just put my hands on the piano and..." I trail off, not really knowing how to explain.

"Hmm, maybe it's subconscious. You aren't aware of it, but you haven't lost the ability to play," Edward muses thoughtfully.

"Oh," I say offhandedly. "Great. And here I was, thinking that I became some pianist extraordinaire. I'm delusional."

Edward laughs loudly, startling me slightly. I muster a small grin because honestly, I wasn't trying to be funny.

"Um, so, how was work?" I ask him again, trying to get into the role of a good wife.

"Long, tiring, fucking stressful," Edward shrugs, pinching the bridge of his nose as he collapses on the couch.

My heart goes out to him as I watch him sigh heavily. Brightening up, I remember that I can apply for a job at Breaking Dawn to ease his burden. I'll get down to it as soon as possible, I note mentally.

"Er, so, what did you do today?" Edward asks me. I'm thinking that he's trying to play his good-husband-role to his amnesiac wife as well.

"It was…" I run through the crazy events of the day. "…okay," I finish lamely. "I may or may not have killed my laptop."

"What?" Edward looks at me in bewilderment. "Why?"

"I knocked it off the desk. Sorry." I'm positively radiating guilt now.

"You don't have to apologize, Bella. I'm just worried that you may have important files in there that you need."

My head shoots up. I can't help eyeing him suspiciously. Does he know about the files?

"Do you think I can send it for repair?" I ask.

"Sure, I can bring it for repair tomorrow. In the meantime if you want to surf the net you can use the desktop. It's in the other study room."

"Oh. Okay." I wasn't aware of the other study room.

Gosh. This house _is _huge. I haven't thoroughly explored it yet, I guess.

"Shall we go for dinner?" Edward breaks my train of thoughts.

What?

Oh shit.

I forgot that I'm supposed to do dinner. Edward told me about our general habits.

I'm supposed to be creative in the kitchen and surprise him with dinner. Edward stares at my panicked expression quizzically. "What's wrong?"

"I'm really sorry Edward, but I didn't prepare anything for dinner. It just slipped my mind." While I was busy wondering whether or not you had an affair or if you were in the Mafia.

Edward chuckles lightly. "I left you a message, Bella. On your phone. I came back to pick you up for dinner. I've booked a reservation at the restaurant where we had our first date."

I stare at him curiously.

Edward swallows slightly. "I thought it may help, you know, encourage the memories to come back. And I thought I could share with you about our…courtship."

"Our courtship," I echo, trying not to laugh. "Is that what they call it in 2011?"

Edward pulls a face. "Well, I don't know how to put it. So do you want to go or not?"

"That sounds very sweet, Edward," I smile at him. "I want to go. Can I have a few minutes to change?"

"Of course," Edward grins.

"What's the dress code like? Is it a fancy restaurant?"

Edward tells me to dress casually and assures me that I "look beautiful in anything, really."

Yeah, right.

I panic once I reach the wardrobe because I have no idea what to wear.

Eventually, I decide on a simple wrap dress that feels comfortable and doesn't look too overdone.

Before I leave, I ask Edward on his opinion on my attire.

Edward looks at me critically before flashing me a devastatingly handsome smile. "You look beautiful."

I blush deeply and mutter my thanks as he leads me to the car to drive to the restaurant.

I am a bundle of nerves on the drive to the restaurant as I can't help reflecting on the day's events.

I am contemplating to call off the deal with Riley and James. Edward's being so sweet right now, and what kind of a wife will I be, to check up on my husband secretly?

Edward will be sorely disappointed if he find out. It's as if I don't trust him. Which I do.

Of course I do.

I glance uncertainly at Edward. He catches me looking from the corner of his eye and grins at me.

I grin weakly back.

But what if Riley and James actually find _something_? Something important?

I try to swallow the lodge in my throat and look out of the window to see the beautiful night sky.

I promise myself to not think about it and thoroughly enjoy my evening with Edward. I'll worry about the problems when they come.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hey sorry for the late update! I've been busy with school and life. Thanks so much for your lovely reviews!:)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.**

"How's the cheese thing?" Edward asks, eyeing my dessert.

I push the plate towards him. "It's good. Not as nice as your chocolate mousse though."

"You can have the rest, if you want," Edward looks at me with a guilty expression. I burst out laughing as I catch sight of the miniscule piece of the chocolate dessert left on his plate.

"It's okay," I giggle. "I'm stuffed."

"Me too," Edward admits, leaning back on his chair.

I pick up my flute of wine and swirl the liquid around, enjoying the fizzy feeling that is slowly ebbing away in my head.

"Are you ready to head home?" Edward asks.

"Oh right, how are you going to drive?" I look doubtfully at Edward's empty flute.

Edward chuckles at my expression. "Don't worry, Bella. My own father-in-law is a police chief. Wouldn't want to be caught by him while drink-driving. I'll call Isaac."

I frown.

Edward looks at me. "Oh right. Isaac's our chauffeur. Well, we don't really use him much, unless needed."

I widen my eyes in surprise. We have a chauffeur?

"You look really tired now. Maybe we should just call a cab. I'll get Isaac to pick up the car tomorrow."

I nod to show that I am okay with the idea.

In spite of his rather tipsy state, Edward is still clear-headed about his gentlemanly ways. He waits for me to rise from my seat and leave the restaurant while he holds the door. I tried to protest when he insisted on pulling my chair out earlier, but Edward convinced me that it was the way he was brought up, and I should try to 'be a lady' and not protest.

We hire a cab and I sleep practically the whole ride home.

Edward and I have become significantly closer after the date. He shared with me about our previous dating experiences, telling me of the first time he asked me out and how Charlie was 'coincidentally' cleaning his gun when he arrived to pick me up. He chattered animatedly about how there was a waiter who flirted obnoxiously with me while taking our orders and how I was totally oblivious.

"It's one of your charms," Edward smiled after describing his frustration about the waiter.

"What, how I appeal to waiters?" I laughed.

"No, your cluelessness."

"Shut up."

Edward also shared stories of his childhood, telling me more about why he was always away. It turns out that he didn't really like small-town life. He loved flying, because he didn't feel constrained when he was in the air. It's ironic, I told him, how I was always feeling claustrophobic on planes. Edward also told me that he used to be a photographer. That's also part of the reasons why he travelled a lot. He loved scenic places. Flying happened to allow him to experience beautiful landscapes as well.

"I loved to write, even as a child," I admitted to him over the appetizer. "Charlie bought me lots of books. And I read them from cover to cover, page to page. I read them till they were torn and tattered, their pages yellowed with age. And I still loved them. I gave them away to charity when we were spring cleaning one year. Charlie convinced me that clearing the old books meant that there was more space for the new books to come."

"You know," Edward said after a while. "You've never really told me about your love for writing."

I looked at him then, surprised.

"I mean, I knew you liked to write. But I was never sure of the extent of your love for writing. I would never have let you resign if I did."

I gave Edward a soft smile. "It's okay. I've sent in an application for the job at Breaking Dawn. I could go out and work again!"

There was an unreadable expression on Edward's face then. I was mystified, but I didn't probe.

"Bella, Bella," a soft voice calls out.

I flutter my eyelids open and realise that I'm still in the cab.

"We're here," Edward smiles at me gently. I blink and look around at the dark surroundings.

Edward helps me out of the cab and we stagger into the house, leaning onto each other for support.

"You must be tired. Go wash up and we can go to bed." Edward whispers in the darkness.

"I'm too lazy to take a bath," I admit, yawning.

Edward chuckles and I make out his bright eyes shining in the darkness.

"Edward?" I mumble, almost incoherently. "You have pretty eyes."

"Thanks?"

I laugh lightly.

"Can you find your way around or do I need to switch the lights on?" Edward asks me, with a hand around my shoulders to support me and another hand sliding across the walls, already in search for the switch.

"Wait," I suddenly hear myself saying. "I like the dark."

Edward's hand stills.

"With your clumsiness it's going to be hard for you to make it upstairs without falling."

"You can carry me," I slur. I lean heavily against him, enjoying his masculine scent and his warmth.

I watch as his dark silhouette freezes in place.

"You're making this very difficult, Bella," Edward mutters in a strangled voice.

"What's difficult?" I reply, my eyes drifting close as I inhale the smell of Edward's jacket.

"You," Edward finally says. "You're driving me crazy."

"What's wrong?" I look at him, concerned.

"You're very tempting, Bella. I'm afraid that-" Edward stops abruptly.

"Afraid of what?" I whisper.

"I don't know if- I mean, I can't-" Edward exhales sharply. "I don't want to take advantage of you, while you're not clear-headed and amnesiac."

"You can't take advantage of me." I shake my head, which seems to feel a thousand pounds heavier. "Not when I'm a willing party."

At this, Edward makes an exasperated noise at the back of his throat and kisses me.

I try not to squeak in surprise at how his lips mould perfectly against mine. His kiss is demanding, passionate, yet tender and soft at the same time.

It suddenly hits me, what we are doing.

I feel a white-hot dart of excitement as Edward wraps his arms around me, as if he cannot pull me close enough.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," Edward chants breathlessly as his lips leave mine temporarily, only to glue themselves against my neck.

I guess it's pretty obvious that we don't bother to turn on the lights in the end.

In any case, I wake up the next morning in my huge, soft and fluffy bed feeling utterly and completely happy.

Happy seems like an insufficient description, but I can't really think of anything else.

I can't help smiling stupidly to myself as I recall last night.

Let's just say it was...

It was completely...

I was...

Okay. I don't know how to put last night into words. I mean, Edward was...

A strange feeling unfurls within me.

A sort of panicked, nerve-wrecking, yet excited feeling.

How does this define us now? I mean, before I lost my memories, obviously we've had sex before.

But now that I've lost my memories, Edward's been caring and nice and comforting...like a friend. He said so himself, that we should start off as friends.

I mean, I know that he's my husband. But we're still in this awkward, just-starting-out, let's-take-things-slowly kind of phase.

Are we progressing too quickly?

Will it be awkward?

Okay let's not freak out.

"Bella?" Edward calls out from the shower. "Have you seen my shaver? It's missing."

"Um, try the second drawer." I answer.

See? We're totally at ease with one another. It's how husbands and wives communicate. We're totally in our element.

"Yeah, got it. Thanks," Edward replies.

"Hmm," I say incoherently.

My phone rings from the bedside table and I very nearly jump out of my skin.

"Hello?" I answer nervously.

"Hey, Bella," an unfamiliar voice greets me.

"Um, who are you?"

"It's Riley," the voice replies.

My mind flashes to the deal that I made with James and Riley, the deal that seemed like a million years ago.

"Oh."

Maybe they didn't get anything. And they were calling to apologise. I'm about to say that it's okay, they can keep the money, when Riley responds, "I just wanted to call to tell you that we found something."

I feel my skin prickle.

"Wait. What?"

"We have some pictures. Would you prefer if we passed it to you personally or if we mailed it to you."

"Personally!" I nearly shriek into the phone. If Edward finds out about my deal, I will die.

"Personally," I repeat in a calmer tone. "Please."

"Okay. How about we meet at Forks Park. Later at around three?"

"That's fine."

We hang up, my fingers tingling in alarm as I place the phone back on the table.

Shit. What did they find out?

How can they find out anything when Edward's been so impossibly sweet and reliable?

I nearly jump in fright as Edward comes from behind to nuzzle my neck.

"What's wrong? You're so jumpy." Edward mumbles, concerned. "Who called?"

"Nothing, no one," I mutter hastily. Edward's eyes narrow in suspicion. "No one...that you know of," I amend, forcing a smile. "It was a wrong number."

Edward looks at me for a moment and I freeze, not daring to move. But he just smiles and drops a kiss on my shoulder. He picks up a shirt, shrugging it on.

"I have to go to work," Edward says. "I might be late tonight, though. You don't have to wait up, have your own dinner."

"Okay," I answer and kiss him goodbye, but my mind is miles away, on certain information that may potentially wreck my marriage.

**A/N: I hope you're still enjoying the ride so far. I've to warn you though, it isn't always smooth sailing. There are bumps ahead! Anyway, I have this story that's stuck in my head, begging to be written. I'm not sure if i should start, because that might mean slower updates for this story. Of course, this will still be my priority. After school, that is. Life sucks that way.**

**As I was saying, this story that's stuck in my head revolves around a rich and cocky Edward who is actually the son and heir to Carlisle Cullen, the owner of a chain of hotels. He gets sent to work undercover in one of the hotels, where he meets Bella. Lots of things happen, and they eventually fall in love, but all the while, Bella is unaware of his true status. What do you think? Should I try?**

**Here's the tentative summary: Bella Swan has no idea that her arrogant, pigheaded, egoistical and annoyingly good-looking colleague, Eugene Cartwright, is none other than Edward Cullen, the rich and infamous son of her boss.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters**

"Bella."

I think I just jumped a mile off the ground at the sound of my name.

Spinning around, I catch sight of Riley and James sauntering towards me. Immediately, my eyes zero in onto the bulky manila envelope, clutched under James' arm.

Cue ominous music.

I gulp as I continue staring at the envelope, feeling bloody drain from my face.

"Hi," I mutter quietly, cold dread making its way up my spine.

"Pay up," James says bluntly, sticking out a hand.

I nod hastily and fish for my wallet.

James leafs through the wad of notes with a satisfied smirk and passes the envelope to me.

I accept the envelope with shaky hands.

I look at them with panicked eyes but they look at me blankly.

"He didn't go to work yesterday," Riley informs me.

"We followed him around, until he got home." James adds.

"Thank you," I say, not really feeling grateful at all. "I won't be needing your services anymore."

With a nod of his head, James turns around on his heel and stalks off, with Riley trailing behind.

I glance warily down at the envelope. The incriminating piece of evidence against my husband. Well, it could be incriminating evidence. It could also very well be nothing.

Bile rises up my throat and I force it down with a hard swallow. Plucking the envelope gingerly with one hand, I open the flap with another hand.

Carefully, I reach into the envelope to pull out a bunch of pictures.

I stare at the photographs in confusion.

Edward stepping out of his car.

Edward shaking hands with a male in a dark suit. (I frown at the picture. I don't recognize the guy.)

Edward looking distraught as the guy smiles sympathetically.

Edward getting back into his car.

Edward walking to a white building.

Edward frowning...

I flip back to the previous picture.

The white building! I stare at it as a sense of recognition hits me.

The hospital!

What was Edward doing at the hospital?

Turning to the next picture, I stare in confusion at the photograph which seems to be showing Edward and a woman in scrubs.

Identifying the woman as a doctor, I peer warily at the picture.

The woman has a hand on Edward's arm, a look of understanding on her face. Only the back view of Edward can be seen.

Instead of resolving the doubts and questions in my head, the pictures seem to cause more confusion.

I walk home hurriedly, my head pounding with burning questions.

At home, I decide to decipher the meaning behind the pictures again.

Flipping back to the second picture of Edward with a dark-suited man, I make out a large building in the background with a sign.

Jenks & Whitlock.

I use the desktop computer in the second study room to google the name.

As the results are generated, I feel more and more confused.

_A law firm?_

What was Edward doing at a law firm?

Whitlock...did Jasper have anything to do with this?

With the results, I find the address of the law firm and decide to make my way there.

Anxiety rushes through my nerves as I hop into a cab and mutter the address.

Before long, I arrive at the very building that is captured on camera. Clutching the photographs, I walk stiffly into the building.

"Um, I'd like to speak to...Mr. Edward Cullen's lawyer."

I'm guessing the man in the picture is a lawyer. Probably gives Edward legal advice on how to handle his money.

Probably something really innocent.

I'm probably over thinking things.

This could very well be nothing at all.

Swallowing hard, I stare at the receptionist nervously.

"Mrs. Cullen?" The girl stares at me in confusion. "Why, Mr. Cullen was just here yesterday!"

"I am aware." I say quietly.

"Would you like to see Mr. Jenks too? He should be free right now." The girl checks her computer hastily, probably for the schedule of the lawyer.

I nod silently. I allow her to lead the way as I approach a small office toward the end of a narrow corridor.

I thank the girl and knock twice before a low voice asks me to enter.

"Isabella," the stout man sitting in a plush chair looks surprised. "I wasn't aware that you had an appointment with me."

"I just came. The receptionist said that you were free."

The man nods. I'm assuming that he's Mr. Jenks.

"I'm thinking that you were aware of my recent accident," I start slowly, looking at him warily.

He gestures for me to take a seat. Nodding solemnly, he says, "Yes I am. I was sorry to hear that. Edward was here yesterday. He told me you were doing well."

I stare at him, my heart pounding.

"Was he here about the...papers?" I look at him meaningfully, trying to be vague since I have no idea what papers they are.

Mr. Jenks looks bewildered. "Um, I wasn't aware that you were...aware."

I look pointedly at him, willing him to elaborate.

Mr. Jenks clears his throat. "I was specifically instructed by Edward not to disclose the documents to you because of your condition..." He falters. "And if I may ask, what _is _your condition? Edward failed to explain that part."

I frown at him, trying to look displeased. "Well, I'm fine now, as you can see. I need a copy of those... papers as well. For some...administrative purpose."

"You do?" Mr. Jenks looks at me doubtfully.

"Yes," I snap. "I'm your client, am I not? When I ask you for my papers you should probably just give them to me, no questions asked."

Mr. Jenks gives me a weird look. "We've been friends for years, Isabella. I'm just concerned."

I narrow my eyes. My friends never call me Isabella unless they were out to irritate me.

Mr. Jenks looks shamefaced. "We aren't exactly close friends, but I'd like to think myself as more than just a legal advisor to Edward and you."

"Well I think you're overstepping your boundaries. Can I see those...papers please?"

With a resigned sigh, Mr. Jenks nods and I feel a whoop of triumph. The triumph leaves quickly and a sharp, irrational fear plunges into my skin.

I watch with apprehension as Mr. Jenks prints out some papers.

"Here you go."

"Thanks," I mutter.

I stare at the papers.

The words, printed in dark bold ink, sinks slowly into me.

Blood drains from my face.

**SEPARATION AGREEMENT.**

**A/N: OMG. WHAT IS GOING ON?**

**People who want to curse/ kill me, be assured that this is a BxE story. With some problems between B and E. It'll be resolved soon! I promise!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters**

My heart is crashing against my ribs as I process the words on the documents. Here and there I catch words that make my eyes water and my head spin.

_Edward and I are divorced._

It hits me as abruptly and as brutally as a car crash.

My eyes are wheeling about in their sockets as I try to keep calm and make sense of the turn of events.

"Bella? I'm home."

I snap my head up at the sound of Edward's voice.

I am in the living room, trying to get my head around the day's discoveries.

Insecurity and hurt creeps up my stomach. I feel sick.

"I missed you today," Edward says with a light smile as he reaches to touch me.

"Don't touch me," I spit bitterly, confusion still swimming in my head.

"Bella?" Edward's face contorts into an expression of hurt and dismay. My heart falls a little at his face.

"Stop treating me like a child. Stop feeding me with lies." I say, the words bubbling through my lips.

"What-why-" Edward stammers as his eyes fall onto the photographs in my hands. His eyes flicker to the divorce papers on the coffee table.

I watch his face warily. His face hardens but not before I see a flicker of emotion flash in his eyes-_Fear._

"How?" Edward eventually says.

"I got someone to follow you," I admit. He looks at me with an expression of utter disbelief that I want to laugh in spite of myself.

"Believe me, Bella. I never meant to lie to you. It's just that, your condition..."

"My condition has nothing to do with your lies. It's a pathetic excuse," I cry out, outraged.

"Please," Edward stares at me anxiously. His voice is pleading, almost begging.

I take a few deep breaths to calm myself down.

"Tell me," I finally whisper tiredly.

"It was never like this when we first got married," Edward begins tentatively, watching my face carefully. "We were happy. Hell, it was the happiest moment of my life. My entire existence found its meaning because of you. Then I got caught up with work, and failed to see that you felt neglected. You tried to compromise. To spend more time with me and with the family by resigning. I never really thought about the magnitude of your sacrifice. I knew you liked your job. But I was never aware of your true passion for writing. I was grateful, but I didn't really show it. Then Meyer Airlines expanded. I had more flights and more hours to clock for work. Our marriage went downhill from there. We saw less and less of each other even though we tried."

Edward pauses as he looks at me significantly. "I now understand how much of a sacrifice you made when you quit your job. I didn't see it like it was your passion. Now I know, writing to you is like flying to me. It's a part of my life. I thought writing was just an enjoyable job. You hid the pain from giving up your passion from me. I never saw how lonely you were, because everytime I saw you, you made sure to look happy."

"But somewhere, deep down, I think I was aware that I deliberately tried to think that you _were _happy. I was selfish. I had the dream job and the perfect family. It was a fixed image in my mind. I refused to think otherwise. You were the perfectly supportive wife, and I wanted to think that you were happy to give up your job for me." Edward swallows hard. "I'm sorry Bella. I really am."

I nod impassionately.

Edward exhales heavily and continues. "Then our relationship grew more and more strained. I started avoiding having to face you by going to work more often, taking more shifts, coming home late. My parents were displeased, of course, but they assumed that you were fine with it. They didn't interfere."

"But I wasn't," I interject, looking at him candidly in the eye. "I wasn't happy, was I?"

Edward nods sadly. "Of course you weren't. You became depressed. You had to see a doctor, take drugs and everything. We argued a lot. You told me that you regretted ever marrying me. I was hurt and angry. I didn't really consider things from your perspective. All I saw was that I was the sole breadwinner and was working hard to feed my family, but you were unappreciative and always vented your frustration upon me."

"I was depressed?" I ask him, shocked.

Edward's eyes flicker to mine. "I truly am sorry for that, Bella. I made you suffer because I was inconsiderate. You were trying so hard to keep the family intact that it took a toll on your mental health. It didn't help that I wasn't being very cooperative. The resignation from your job also worsened things. I thought that the medication would help to bring things back into control. You would recover from the depression and things could be happy again. I was wrong.

"I wasn't being very supportive by escaping from our problems by going to work. You handled your depression alone. Still, the medication didn't help much. There was no one to keep your mental state good. I tried to get Rosalie and Alice to accompany you, but Rosalie was just starting out with Emmett and Alice and Jasper were newlyweds who were also building their own family. They were busy with their own lives. I didn't want our parents to worry so we agreed to keep things from them. They didn't really know about our strained relationship."

"And the divorce?" My voice is a whisper.

"Eventually we couldn't tolerate it anymore. The heated arguments which led to cold wars. The cold wars which reverted back to heated arguments. We weren't happy. I didn't want to take things so far but you were determined. You were adamant on the divorce."

I feel tears smarting in my eyes as Edward chokes on his words. "I didn't want to let you go, Bella. I still love you, no matter what. Divorce was the very last thing on my mind. But you were serious. You wanted to give up. So I decided that maybe letting you go would be easier on us. You might be happier.

"We agreed to keep this from our parents for the time-being. So they don't know about the divorce. But barely two days after we signed the papers, you got into the accident." Edward's voice cracked on the last word. "God, you almost died, Bella. I almost lost you. I don't know if the accident happened because you were depressed. Or it was purely accidental. But it was a wake up call for me. I couldn't afford to lose you. You're everything to me. I wanted to get you back. I wanted to win you over. But when you woke up and forgot everything... Jesus, Bella."

His eyes settle on mine with an intensity that forces me to look back. "I thought God was giving me a second chance."

"So you decided to lie to me?" I say with remarkable indifference. In actual fact, my heart is pounding in my chest.

Edward flinches at my tone. "I didn't know what to think. I thought it was a chance for me to start over. I wanted to correct whatever mistakes I made. At least until you recovered your memory. I was hoping that you'd have forgiven me by then if I didn't screw this up."

I stare at him questioningly.

"You're hiding something from me." I blurt out accusingly. I don't know where that came from. Call it gut feeling, but I somehow knew that something was missing. Something isn't right about the way he said how our relationship became strained after I quit my job. I knew I loved my job, but surely that doesn't warrant as a threat to my marriage.

Edward draws his brows together and takes in a deep breath.

"Christ, Bella," Edward's voice is shaky, his breaths uneven. I realise to my bewilderment that tears are collecting in his red-rimmed eyes. "You're right. I'm keeping something from you."

"What is it?" I'm almost afraid to find out.

"There's something else," Edward finally exhales.

I watch expectantly, half wary and half curious.

"We lost a baby."

**A/N: That's right! Some of you managed to guess it! This chapter was incredibly difficult to write. The emotions and everything. I edited and re-edited. I hope eveything flows smoothly. Next chapter will be written soon! (I hope!)**

**By the way, two chapters of my new story Meet Eugene Cartwright are up! It's something that I'm pretty excited to write about. Check the story out if you want! Thanks for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Arrgh I noticed some grammatical errors in the precious chapter. I have this tendency to shift tenses in the middle of my writing but I already uploaded it and was too lazy to delete the chapter and edit it again. Nevertheless, you guys didn't complain and were nice enough to read till this chapter:) Thanks so much! **

**Anyway, a lovely reader pottergoose was kind enough to leave and review and point out that Bella should have been aware of HP and the deathly hallows because it was released in 2007. Sorry for that mistake! Anyway, for the sake of the story please pretend that it wasn't released early enough for Bella to remember it. Thanks!**

**Also, some of you have pointed out that while this story is marked Romance/Humor, there isn't much Humor in this story. In fact, it's pretty angsty. Hmm. I guess I have to agree with that. When I originally started out with this story, I wrote Bella's voice with a lighthearted tone. I wanted her to be silly and fun even as she goes through the process of discovering the lies and pretences that her family has been feeding to her. But the humor isn't very apparent in my writing as I read through the story again. Sorry about that. If you're still bothered by the category I put this under, PM me and I'll change it to Romance/Hurt or something, lol. I don't really find it crucial to the development of the plot so I'm just leaving it as it is. What matters most is that you enjoy the story, I guess. So, whatever floats your boat!:) I'll be looking out for your feelings on this, so feel free to tell me to change the category.**

**Sorry for the super long A/N. Here's your chapter update:**

I stare at Edward, uncomprehending.

"We-" The words die in my throat. I feel dizzy and sick. I feel nauseated.

Edward's eyes flash with pain as he watches me grapple with the news.

"I lost...a baby." I try the words on my tongue. "I had a miscarriage?"

Edward nods dumbly.

"And...I don't remember anything about it," I continue, my heart constricting.

Oh God.

I can't...

I can't believe this.

This has to be a really sick joke.

"How?" I say flatly. My voice is disgustingly neutral. Emotionless.

"We were married for about four months when we discovered your pregnancy. We were elated. More than elated. We practially went crazy with happiness. I was driven to work harder for the family. To support the family. You just quit your job, then. It didn't occur to me that you would feel lonely. I neglected you. I failed to sense that you were experiencing mood swings. I-"

"Stop it," I interrupt, an irrational surge of fury rushing through me. "Stop blaming yourself."

Edward chokes out a bitter laugh. His eyes are shining with unshed tears. "It _is _my fault. I was a shitty husband. All I knew was work. I forgot that working so hard was to support my family in the first place."

"I miscarried. There has to be something that I did which caused that. It can't be entirely your fault."

"The miscarriage was an accident," Edward admits. "But it was only because I didn't keep an eye on you. You fell down a flight of stairs."

"And I lost the..." I trail off, feeling numb.

"Our baby." Edward says, his voice leaking with anguish.

"You became depressed after that. Hell, everyone was depressed. I took it out on work. But you didn't have anyone or anywhere to vent your feelings upon. You blamed yourself. Alice and Rosalie tried to help. They accompanied you when they were free. Carlisle and Esme tried to encourage you. Even Charlie and Renee were desperately worried about you as well. With everyone's concern, your depression seemed to be under control. For a while we believed that your condition was improving..." Edward falters.

"And then?" I prompt in a whisper.

He rubs his face and all at once I find him more vulnerable than I have ever seen him before. He growls lowly. "I fucked up, Bella."

There is a pregnant pause as he takes a moment to internalise his thoughts and put them into words.

"You had an overdose of sleeping pills," Edward whispers, his eyes locked onto mine. "We discovered you unconscious on the bed. When we sent you to the hospital, your heart stopped." He chokes on his words as tears streak across his face.

"I thought I'd lost you, Bella. Only then did I realise how _stupid _I was. For trying to escape. I wasn't there to help you. We could have fought the pain together but I chose to bury myself in work instead." Edward sounds so bleak and so hard on himself that I want to cry. "I was as angry and as hurt as you were when we lost our baby. But I couldn't deal with the loss while facing you. You needed me. You needed my support. But I wasn't there."

I hold my breath at the revelation.

"Thank God you regained your heartbeat after that. Christ. You could have died. You could have been gone from my life. I could have lost you." Edward is muttering angrily to himself.

His hand searches for mine unconsciously, grasping my fingers in a deathgrip.

His eyes flicker with pain as I extricate my hand from his.

"I'm sorry. I just..." I breathe deeply. "I have to get my head around this. This...This is crazy. It's too much."

"I understand," Edward mumbles softly. "I understand."

"I...I have been keeping this from you. I shouldn't have." Edward stands up suddenly and retrieves a large book from a drawer under the coffee table. He has to dig in deep for it.

As he hands it over, I realise that it is not a book. It is an album.

"I'll leave you to sort out your thoughts," Edward smiles sadly. He walks out of the house and I watch his retreating form. The door closes with a click and all is silent.

I can hear my labored breathing in the quiet.

Hesitantly, I flip the album open.

My eyes widen as I try to regulate my breathing.

They are pictures of me. Pictures of Edward. Pictures of the family.

Pictures of Edward kissing my swollen belly.

Pictures of me looking radiant in maternity dresses.

I pick up a different picture. It is dark, with a fuzzy image.

I realise with a jolt that this is an ultrasound image.

A picture of my baby.

A sudden fuzzy image assaults my brain. The vision burns at the back of my head.

_"Can you hear that?" Edward is saying, his voice full of wonder and awe._

_I nod speechlessly. We stare at the screen, transfixed. The image is dark and vague, but we can see slight movements._

_The baby's heartbeat echoes throughout the room, strong and rhythmic._

_It seems to be going "wow, wow, wow, wow..."_

_"That's our child, Bella," Edward says in a low whisper, his voice choking with emotion._

_"Our little EJ," I murmur, my vision blurring with tears._

I feel breathless as the memory attacks me. My lungs feel constricted, like a bitter fruit has lodged itself in my throat.

I hear a loud pounding in my eardrums as I run to the bathroom.

I vomit messily, tears launching from my eyes and mucus running from my nose.

The startling recollection burns my throat. My little EJ.

I watch the putrid liquid collect in the sink, only to gradually disappear.

**A/N: Not a very happy chapter. But things will get better soon.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Okay. I tried. I got stuck several times while writing this chapter because angst is seriously freaking hard to write. I applaud those who have successfully pulled it off. **

"Bella? Bella!" Edward's voice calls urgently from a distance.

I lean weakly against the wall. I can't quite get over the impact of the memories.

How can I have forgotten about my own child? How?

The anguish and pain of losing my baby hits me all over again, in full force.

"Jesus," Edward breathes as he catches sight of me in the bathroom. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Tears are falling from my face and my nose is running but I can't react.

"I realised how stupid it was to leave. I...It was raining outside and...and I thought of you...scared...and alone. And confused. I shouldn't have left." Edward is whispering in a low voice. He cups my face in his hands and leans his forehead against mine. "I am so, so, sorry for everything."

I can't respond. My hands and legs are shaking. I hear small wounded sounds. I realise that they are coming from me.

"Bella? Oh God, why are you shaking? What happened?" Edward is frantic now. He's tugging at my arms, trying to get me to respond.

"I...I remember," I stutter, finally finding my voice. "I remember."

Edward freezes. He holds his breath and locks his eyes on mine.

"Our EJ," I breathe out. "Oh God. How could I have forgotten? Our baby. My baby..." I sob uncontrollably.

Edward comes out of his frozen state and pulls me into his arms, locking me into a warm embrace as he hushes me and rocks me back and forth.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry," Edward is muttering and tears stream down his face as well.

Like a thousand punches, fragments of my memories hit me.

The first time I met Edward was at the airport, not at the party like Alice mentioned.

I was coming back from a visit to Jacksonville where Renee and Phil lived. He was going home after a flight.

Edward probably doesn't remember this, but I do.

_He has hair of the strangest colour. Like a dirty penny. Sort of brown, sort of bronze. Yet there are also reddish highlights._

_He carries himself with confidence as he saunters through the crowds. The uniform on him is striking, and I recognise him as a pilot._

_Suddenly, his eyes lock onto mine, and I am afraid to breathe. _

_I now understand the reason why people don't stare at the sun._

_Because then when you look away, you'd be blind to everything else._

_He was glorious._

_Then, a sort of half smile stretches across his face._

_But just as quickly, he looks away._

_I feel a strange sinking feeling in my chest._

Then at the party, when we met officially.

_"Bella! This is my brother, Edward. Home at last!" Alice laughs, clinging onto the man beside her for dear life._

_I stare at him, shocked. The man standing before me is the pilot that I saw at the airport._

_"Hi," his voice is smooth like velvet. It's rich and warm and makes you feel it all the way down to your toes. "I've heard a lot about you."_

When he first kissed me, and I was a nervous wreck.

_"I've never felt this way before," Edward admits, his breath fanning across my face._

_I swallow hard. I'm pretty sure he can hear my heartbeat in the still night._

_"You're one of a kind, Bella Swan." Edward whispers, cupping my face in his large, warm hands. His eyes are intense as he looks at me. _

_I don't speak, but somehow I know what he's about to do. _

_He presses his lips to mine and I find it hard to breathe. _

When he proposed, and I still remember the way I felt as I said yes.

_"I've always loved flying," Edward is saying. Then, he threads his fingers with mine and continues, "but I'm sick of flying alone."_

_I hold my breath as the words sink in. Can it be?_

_"A plane can't fly without the sky. And I can't go anywhere without you. You're my sky, Bella." He drops to a knee and I gasp._

_"Isabella Marie Swan," he whispers, his voice raw with emotion. "Will you marry me?"_

The day we discovered my pregnancy, when everything changed.

_"I'm going to be a father," Edward says to himself, almost in awe._

_"You're going to be a father," I echo, laughing a little._

_"I'm going to be a father!" Edward repeats, taking me into his arms and spinning me around._

_He is laughing and I'm laughing as we spin round and round in circles. Life feels perfect at the moment, and I'm praying that nothing will ever change._

I'm breathing hard and gasping as Edward rocks me in his arms. "I'm so sorry," Edward is still mumbling, his voice muffled with tears.

The final memory hits me like a punch in the gut, leaving me breathless.

_Edward isn't home again. _

_I sigh as I climb out of bed. My hand instinctively moves over to my swollen belly as I trudge out of the room._

_He must be busy with work, I tell myself. It's good that he's so motivated and all. It's for the family. For our little EJ._

_Because I'm distracted, I don't see the piece of paper on the floor. I almost slip on the paper but I manage to catch myself in time. Heaving a sigh of relief, I turn for the staircase but then I miss a step and my legs give way and I am rolling down the stairs._

_My hands automatically go to the back of my head. When I reach the ground I feel disoriented. _

_Everything hurts all at once but my eyes zero in to the trickle of blood that is appearing on my thigh._

_I let out a bloodcurdling scream._

"Oh God, oh God," I mutter repetitively, tears running from my eyes.

"Tell me what to do, Bella," Edward is saying with despair. "Tell me how I can help you. Tell me how I can make this better."

I don't answer him because I'm crying hard.

"Please, Bella," Edward takes my face in his hands. His tears are mingled with mine.

"I-I don't know," I stutter. _Will_ things be better?

"I'll do anything you want," Edward says hoarsely, his voice choking with emotion. "I'll say yes to anything. Please just don't leave me again. I can't bear it. I don't care if you don't love me anymore. I don't care that we're divorced. I still love you. I always will. I...I can't lose you, Bella. I almost did when you...almost killed yourself," Edward whispers brokenly. "Just let me take care of you. Please. It's the only thing I ask."

"I'm sorry, Edward." My voice is a whisper. "I don't think...I can't..."

I swallow hard. "I'll always be reminded of how I lost him when I'm with you. I don't think I'll ever forget that pain."

"No, no," Edward is sobbing. "Please, Bella."

"I can't blame you for keeping this from me. I know why you did it. But I don't think I can do it. I can't just pretend nothing's happened." My voice is shaking treacherously.

"Please just give me some time alone." I say finally.

Edward stares at me for a long while. His jade green eyes are dark as they search my face.

Then, his hands drop from my face.

"If that's what you want," he finally whispers. His expression is so pained that I feel so wretched inside.

But I can't bear it anymore.

I need some time to clear my mind. Some things can never be the same again.

**A/N: I'm trying to get the sad stuff over asap so the HEA will come sooner! I know you hate Bella immensely now but she's all choked up and emotional and stuff. She'll get over it soon, I promise. (God, I must say this again- this angsty stuff is hard to write.)**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: There were mixed reactions to the previous chapter. Some people understood Bella's predicament, others found her ruthless and heartless. LOL, I'm not sure where I stand actually. I think I'm somewhere in the middle. I can sympathise with Bella but I think she's being pretty hard on Edward. But then again I can't blame her because of the state of confusion and pain that she's in. Well, all I can say is read on and I hope you'll be appeased by the end of the story!**

"Bella, what happened?" Alice is shrieking into the phone. "My brother just called. He told me to take care of you. He said that you may need someone?"

"He didn't tell you?" I sigh, feeling drained. My mouth feels parched and my throat feels entirely too dry, like I've swallowed a wad of cotton. My eyes are still stinging from crying.

"No, he didn't say much. And then he hung up. I tried calling back but it's no use. What's with his cryptic words? What happened?"

"I remember everything, Alice." I say lowly.

There is a heavy pause.

"Everything?" Alice repeats.

"Yes," I snap, feeling an irrational flash of anger come upon me. "I remember the depression, the baby, I remember everything!"

"Jesus," Alice breathes. "Are you...Are you okay? Do you want me to come over?"

"God, I..." I rub my face, feeling a fresh new surge of despair. Tears are forming in my eyes again. "I don't know. I don't feel like speaking to anyone, yet I feel so lost. I don't know what to do."

"So what did you tell Edward? Did you ask him to leave?" Alice sounds mildly incredulous.

"I didn't know how to handle this, okay?" I retort defensively. "I know that he's..he's in pain," my voice cracks on the last word. "But I can't...stand to see him now. I'm only reminded of the miscarriage and all the pain I've been through whenever I see him. I know this is fucking selfish. I know I shouldn't hurt him anymore. He's just as upset as I am. But I think this is for the best-that we be left alone for some time to clear our heads."

"You're totally right," Alice shouts into the phone. "You're fucking selfish. And stupid! Edward's been through so much. He's come so close to losing you. Can you understand how your act of breaking off with him will mean to him? He'll be crushed! He loves you, Bella. He can't bear being apart from you, and you're chasing him away? I understand your confusion. I understand your pain. But you still love him, right? And as a couple, you're supposed to stick together to face all obstacles! Not run away!"

"No, you don't understand!" I fume. "How can you understand? Have you lost a baby?" I flinch at the reminder. But I continue, "You can't imagine the pain I felt. We were so happy. He was alive, Alice. He was growing inside of me. I could feel him. And then I killed him. And now he's gone."

"No one wanted the miscarriage to happen, Bella!" Alice tried for a more soothing tone. "You were crushed. Edward was crushed. I admit, he was wrong for trying to run away. But now he's learnt from his mistakes. He won't leave you again. You can't be making the same mistakes as he did, Bella. Please, please don't leave my brother. It'll kill him."

"Alice," I exhale heavily. "You are aware of the divorce, aren't you? The law firm I went to belonged to Jasper, didn't it?"

Jenks and Whitlock.

I remember now. Jasper is a shareholder of the firm. It's a family business and his uncle is the CEO or something.

Alice keeps silent.

"We're separated," I say. "There's no reason for us to be together. Before I lost my memory, I made that decision. And now that I've recovered my memories, I still think that decision will do the both of us some good. This marriage has been emotionally draining. Too draining and too difficult for us to go on with it. I don't think I can do it anymore."

"You were young," Alice protests. "You both made mistakes. Edward was wrong for neglecting you. But you were also wrong for keeping it to yourself. The depression was a result of lack of communication. You need to learn from that and make changes, not run away! Please, Bella. I know you still have feelings for Edward."

"I don't know, Alice." I whisper brokenly. "I don't know if I can do this anymore. It kills me whenever I think about EJ. I don't think the pain will ever go away."

"It will always be there," Alice admits. "Because you loved the baby. But that doesn't mean you should give up on your relationship. Maybe the miscarriage happened as a wakeup call. It's for you and Edward to learn for your mistakes. To build a better family together."

"I..."

"Promise me you'll think about it. Promise me you won't give up so easily. You were depressed because you were in self-denial. You refused to face up to reality. You couldn't bear the pain of the miscarriage. This time, you have to learn to face the facts. Tackle the problems as they come. Face them bravely. We'll be behind you. And you know Edward will, too."

"Alice..."

"This is your second chance, Bella. Don't make the same mistake of not facing up to your feelings. You'd kept your feelings to yourself and Edward was oblivious to your needs. Your relationship had deteriorated because there was a communication breakdown. This time, you may be separated. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't give yourselves a second chance. A second go at your marriage. I know you still care for each other. I'd hate to see you guys separated. I love you like a sister, Bella."

"But I need some time to think!" I sigh loudly, exasperated. "I can't just...forget about the pain and go on with life!"

"I understand. I agree that you should have a transition period to recover. This has come as a shock to you. You'll need some alone time. But please promise me that you won't give up so easily."

"I promise," I finally say.

"Thank you." Alice replies, her tone more peaceful now.

"No, thank _you _Alice," I whisper. "You're right. I have to give him a chance. Give the both of us another chance. I promise I'll talk to Edward again."

"Okay," Alice says. "If you need me, just give me a call."

"Right. Thanks."

I hang up, feeling slightly disoriented and numb.

There is a hollow feeling in my chest which I can't quite describe.

Maybe Alice is right. Things will become better again. I have to think that way or else I may lose my mind. Losing EJ has to be the most painful experience I've ever had. But when I think about losing Edward, the pain leaves me breathless.

I have no right to keep him away. We may be divorced, but I realise that I never did allow him a choice. The divorce was my decision. The break off was my decision. But when I lost the baby, it had also been my fault.

Eventually, I decide that I need a few days of cooling down before I decide to see Edward again.

_**A week later,**_

Edward has been staying over at Alice and Jasper's place for the past week. I can't say that thinking about the miscarriage doesn't hurt me anymore, but I have to admit that I miss Edward. Several times, I picked up the phone, intending to call. Just to talk. But I never dial his number fully.

Rosalie and Alice have been really supportive. Alice has been calling whenever she can and Emmett's been really kind as well, urging Rosalie to accompany me for a few days in my house just so that I won't feel lonely and over think things. She's been staying over for the past week, keeping me busy with activities like shopping and cleaning the house and baking. Having my hands full and my mind occupied does help me relief some of the pain.

Esme and Carlisle are still kept in the dark about the divorce and they have no idea that I've regained my memories. Renee and Charlie are also blissfully oblivious, with Charlie intending to marry Sue and Renee having the time of her life with Phil in Jacksonville.

They've called a few times, asking me if I'm okay if I'm getting any better. I don't want them to worry, so I fabricate little lies like how I seem to be having flashbacks but I'm still not entirely recovered of my memories.

Time passes sluggishly and I feel like I'm moving through water, my movements slow and careless. Breaking Dawn Press has gotten back to me, welcoming me back warmly. I'm starting work in about two weeks' time. From what Alice tells me, Edward's been going back to work regularly and he seems to be managing pretty well, although it's still evident that he's in pain. He's been respectfully keeping his distance, fulfilling my wish.

Things have been rather uneventful, but abruptly, Esme and Carlisle call to ask us to join them for a family dinner and I can't decline.

The day of the dinner arrives quicker than I anticipate. Edward and I have made arrangements through Alice to turn up at Esme and Carlisle's house, pretending that we arrived together. We decide to keep the divorce from them and I'm still feigning memory loss.

"Hi," Edward smiles at me awkwardly, a trace of pain in his eyes. We are standing outside the house, with Alice and Jasper lingering from a distance to give us some privacy.

"Um, hey," I respond, just as awkwardly. Rosalie is trailing behind me, hesitant to intervene. At the corner of my eye, I catch Emmett tap on her shoulder to pull her away.

"How...How have you been?" Edward asks formally. I feel a rise of despair as I stare at his ashen face.

He looks gaunt and tired, like he's not been having enough sleep.

"I'm fine. How about you?" Of course he knows what I've been up to. Just as how I'm aware of the happenings in his life. Alice must have updated him.

"Fine," he replies tightly. His expression changes and he locks his jaw. "Listen, Bella. Can we-"

"Oh you're here!"

We both spin around to see Esme smiling beatifically at us. "Emmett, Rosalie, I'm glad you could make it. You're practically part of the family now," she grins at Rosalie.

"It's no problem, Mrs C," Emmett flashes her his dimpled smile. Emmett's family and the Cullens have been family friends for years. Esme's been telling him to call her by her first name, but Emmett's been addressing her by 'Mrs. C' for as long as I've known them.

"Bella, how are you doing?" Esme turns to me, worry evident in her face. I grimace as I struggle to compose myself.

"She's been well,' Edward responds on my behalf. Esme nods, relieved. Edward's hand comes to my shoulder lightly and I flinch.

"Sorry," he whispers. Esme doesn't notice our tense expressions and goes to hug Jasper and Alice.

"Come inside, dears," Esme leads the way eagerly. "I made your favorites!"

"Wow you've outdone yourself, Esme," Rosalie gushes at the spread of food. I'm not really hungry, but I have to admit that the food looks delicious.

Carlisle comes along and we all exchange warm greetings. As expected, Carlisle asks me about my condition and I reply as normally as I can that I am doing well although my memory doesn't seem to be returning. He frowns at this and tells me to arrange for a checkup and I nod dumbly.

We settle down at the dining table and Edward comes to sit beside me. Carlisle and Esme don't seem to be suspicious at all.

During the course of the meal, I fidget uneasily and try to focus on the food rather than the man beside me. Edward doesn't seem to have a problem at all. He makes small talk with his sister, relieves childhood memories with his mother and discusses about current affairs with his father. He even shows his affections for me naturally, getting me food and serving me my favorite dishes, all the while careful not to give anything away.

For some reason I feel infuriated by this. I don't understand my feelings. I mean, I was the one who called for the break off. I was the one who suggested keeping my situation from them. Why am I getting angry when Edward's been agreeing with my every decision and going along with it?

"Bella? Bella?" Esme calls me, concern etched onto her face. "You looks out of sorts, dear. Are you okay?"

"I'm..." I struggle to reply.

"She's fine. Probably just tired, especially since she's only just fully recovered from her accident," Edward lies flawlessly.

"No," I hear myself saying. "No I'm not fine. I'm not okay."

There is an ominous silence as everyone stares at me.

"What do you mean?" Esme says.

"I'm sorry," I blubber, mortification hitting me as tears fall from my face.

"Bella," Rosalie starts to say.

"No," I cut in. "I have to say this. I've been so selfish. I've only been thinking about myself. My pain. My loss. Everyone's been worrying for me and all I'm doing is wallowing in self despair."

I blink back my tears. "Esme, Carlisle, I'm sorry I kept this from you. I actually recovered my memory a week ago."

There is a collective gasp and Edward tries to put his hand on mine but he stops mid-air and brings his hand back.

"And there's something else. Something that happened before the accident."

I swallow nervously. "Edward and I are divorced."

"What?" There's a catch in Esme's voice and Carlisle seems to be frozen on his seat.

"Bella, please," Edward is begging me. "Not now."

"Then when?" I cry out, facing Edward candidly. "I don't want to pretend anymore. I know the feeling of being lied to. Being kept in the dark. I don't agree with what you guys did after the accident, but I appreciate the sentiment behind it. I understand that you cared for me. But I think it's time to let the truth come to light. Edward, there's no use dragging this on further. Everyone gets hurt. Especially if we keep this on."

"How long have you been keeping the divorce from us?" Carlisle asks suddenly, his voice stone-cold.

"Since the time around the suicide attempt with the sleeping pills." Edward admits, his tone heavy.

Pain flashes across Esme's eyes.

There is a tense silence at the table as we regard each other with guarded expressions.

"This dinner's ruined because of me, I'm sorry," I apologise, breaking the silence. I rub my eyes to clear my tear-tainted vision.

"I should leave," I continue quietly, getting up from my seat. I turn around and speed out of the house before anyone can stop me.

Edward runs out after me.

"Bella," Edward begins to say.

"Please, don't. I don't think I'm ready yet." I whisper. His face falls. I feel a clench in my chest.

I touch his shoulder lightly. "Will you…" I trail off, insecurity creeping up. "Will you wait, though?"

Edward jerks his head back up and stares at me with an unreadable expression.

Then, he pulls me in abruptly for a fierce hug. "Always."

**A/N: There's light at the end of the tunnel! Thank you for reading!**


	15. Epilogue

**A/N: I'm going to edit this story throroughly again after it's completed because after re-reading the chapters I found a lot of shifts in tenses. So after uploading the final chapter I'll start taking the story down to edit it. But I'll reupload everything again, of course:) And then I'll focus on my other story, Meeting Eugene Cartwright! Thank you so much for reading!**

**Epilogue (a few months later)**

Impossible.

Blood drains from my face. I can feel my brain straining itself as I wheel my eyes around their sockets, doing frantic sums and calculations.

But the last time we...

It had to be at least...

Letting out a choking gasp, I nearly collapse and my subconscious alerts my arm to grab onto the sink for support. My fingers are gripping the edge of the sink for dear life.

My phone rings shrilly, breaking my thoughts. I try to keep calm and answer it.

"Hello?"

"Bella," Alice voice comes from the device. "Are you ready? You've been in there for ages. Are you unwell?"

"No," I swallow the lump in my throat. "No I'm fine...I was just...Nervous. I guess."

Alice chuckles. "Nervous? Are you having the wedding jitters?"

In spite of myself I roll my eyes. "Please, Alice. Let's not go there again."

"Don't think I haven't noticed, but you got a little emotional during the vows." Alice says with a sly tone.

"I wasn't," I splutter. "Well he's important to me, obviously I was a bit emotional. He's finally found someone he loves."

Alice makes an exasperated noise at the back of her throat. "You're putting it off for too long, Bella. You know how long my brother's waited. He's been so patient and giving because of you."

"Alice," I sigh. "It's Charlie's big day today, don't shift the focus onto me."

"Fine, but we'll have this talk sooner or later, alright?"

I click my tongue. "Sometimes you can be really annoying for such a small person."

"You love me for who I am," Alice giggles. "Alright. Get your butt out here. We've been waiting for ages."

We hang up. I smooth my dress and fix my hair a little before stepping out of the bathroom.

Charlie and Sue are getting married today. I can't really believe it, that I'm watching my father get married.

Renee and Phil are here as well, and it feels kind of odd that my parents, who were once married, are now good friends with different spouses.

As I leave the area and walk into the backyard of Charlie's new home, I feel a rush of exhilaration. A flurry of activities greet me. Kids are running about, people are serving food, laughing, chatting, and basically just having a jolly good time.

We turned the large backyard into a lovely, romantic garden for the wedding, hiring lots of people such as caterers and even a live band to perform some songs. I spot my father and Sue dancing and laughing together in a quiet spot and turn around to catch Rosalie is feeding her newborn daughter (my lovely god-daughter Claire). Emmett and Jasper are catching up with some old friends and Alice can be seen fussing with her sons about their attire.

Just then, a warm hand touches my arm and I spin around. Edward is smiling at me softly, a tender look in his eyes. "Hey," he says. He looks at me for a moment. "You look beautiful."

A grin creeps up my face. "You cut quite a dashing figure in a suit too."

Edward laughs. "Come on, let's get some food."

We chat mindlessly while eating and I realise how much I enjoy just being with him like that. Just talking and smiling and sharing silly things.

Suddenly, I catch a whiff of something. The smell isn't exactly unpleasant, but it puts me off just the same. I feel bile rise up my throat and I rush to clasp a hand over my mouth.

Edward watches me with a look of concern. His eyes flicker to mine with worry. "Bella, what's wrong. You've been out of sorts for days."

"I'm fi-" The nauseous feeling rushes up again and I feel sick.

Edward stares at me, his eyes wide in panic. "You're unwell. Let's get you out of here."

"No, no," I protest, trying to compose myself. My initial suspicion seems to be true... A mixture of emotions twist stomach uncomfortably.

"I'm fine, really," I try again, patting my chest and taking in deep breaths.

"Bella," Rosalie calls out. I turn around to see her approach me. She is eyeing me with a suspicious look. Her eyes darts to my stomach and I flush.

"You can't be...I mean, when I was..." Rosalie starts to mutter incoherently. Claire starts to wail in her arms and she is momentarily distracted.

"What, Rose? You know what this is?" Edward says in exasperation, his voice leaking with worry and confusion.

"I mean, when I was pregnant with Claire...I was always nauseous...I don't know..." Rosalie trails off meaningfully. Claire lets out another loud wail and she huffs in annoyance, stalking away to find a private spot to meet her daughter's needs.

Edward seems to have frozen.

I think I've frozen as well.

In slow-motion, he turns to me. His jaw is locked, his eyes set firmly on mine. "Bella?" His voice sounds strange and unlike himself.

"Er..." I flail my arms helplessly.

"You're...Is it true? That I'm going to...You're going to..." Edward chokes out.

"I'm not sure...But I've been considering that as well," I admit.

"But the first time...with EJ..." Edward blurts out. Strangely it doesn't really hurt anymore, saying his name. EJ will never be forgotten, of course. But I'll remember him fondly now, instead of feeling upset whenever someone mentions him.

"I know," I nod. "I didn't really have morning sickness with him."

"Morning sickness," Edward repeats, his tone colored with disbelief.

"I'm not too sure yet though..." I warn him, watching his expression carefully.

"Of all timings...it has to be now," Edward is muttering sarcastically.

"What?" I falter, feeling a strange sense of pain in my chest. My stomach clenches. I can't be hearing this right. Edward...doesn't want a baby?

"I mean," Edward hastily corrects himself. "Please don't misunderstand. It's just that...we're not ready yet. I mean, we've only just started out again...And I..."

Tears are collecting in my eyes. I know the hurt we felt when we lost our first child was immensely painful, but I never expected Edward to react this way.

Edward's eyes flicker with horror as he catches sight of my expression. "No, no, no. Jesus, Bella. I'm not saying that I don't want a baby with you. Christ, I guess I can't keep this from you any longer..."

I furrow my brows. Edward sighs and rubs his face sheepishly. Then, he kneels on the soft ground on a knee.

Oh my God.

I widen my eyes in surprise. People are coming around to gather around us.

"Bella," Edward starts saying, his voice trembling with emotion. "I've planned this for quite some time now, but I didn't really know how to go about doing it. I finally decided to ask you today...but then you shocked the hell out of me with your...situation."

He allows a small smile to creep up his face.

"The first time I knelt before you like this, it didn't end very well. This is the second time I'm doing this, and I know you may not be ready...But I'm sure of it now. I'm sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I promise that I'll do my best to make you happy.

"I said that I wasn't ready for a baby. But the truth is, I don't want you to think that I want to be with you only because of the baby. Or because of the guilt that I feel about our first marriage. I want to be with you because I love you. More than anything else in the world. If you're really expecting, I'll love and cherish the child with all my heart. But even if you're not, I still want you."

"She's expecting?" I hear Renee shrieking.

"She is _what?_" I hear Esme shouting.

"Bella," Edward's eyes are shining with unshed tears. He pulls out a small velvet box from his pocket. "God, please say yes," he says hoarsely.

I'm dumbfounded.

I'm shellshocked.

"Say yes!" I hear the crowd cheering.

"Bella," Alice is shrieking. "Say yes, you dummy!"

"Yes," I hear myself whisper.

Edward jerks his head upwards, his smile exuberant.

"Yes," I repeat, louder now. A wide grin is creeping up my face. I didn't know it, but I realise now that I've been unconsciously waiting for him to ask.

For a second chance at happily ever after.

Edward stands up and captures my lips in a passionate kiss, pulling me close against him.

"God, Bella. You've no idea how _happy _I feel now. You've made me the happiest man in the world." Edward whispers as he stares at me intently.

"Let's give them some privacy!" I hear Rosalie getting the crowd to scatter.

I smile at him with a face-splitting grin. Then I frown. "But today's Charlie's wedding, are you sure it's alright?"

Edward chuckles and wraps his arms tightly around me, settling his chin on the crown of my head. "I've asked him, of course. I told you I've been planning this. In fact it's his suggestion to propose during the wedding."

He pauses for a while. "Our friends and family would be here. You'd be compelled to say yes." He sounds like he's joking, but there is an uncertainty to his tone that I pick out.

"I'd still say yes even if they weren't around." I murmur, pulling back to look at him.

"Thank you, for just being here," I say gently.

"Thank you, for just being mine," Edward grins.

I look into his eyes, watching him watch me with adoration. I'm sure my face mirrors his blissful expression.

Somehow, deep inside, I know that this second chance at love willl have us living happily ever after.

**A/N: This is it! The end! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favorited or put this one alert! Thanks to everyone who's read this! It was a long and difficult ride, and I had countless of writer's blocks while writing this. Without your lovely support, I don't think I'd be able to finish this. SO, THANK YOU!**


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